Summer of Sid
by Apocalypticism
Summary: Sid never wanted to spend the whole summer babysitting his grandmother's farm, or dealing with all the trials the summer presented. Maybe having Stinky there would help. M for drug use/drinking.
1. Chapter 1

"Dammit, Dad! Why'd you make _me_ do it?" Sid looked up at his father angrily.

"Because you're her grandson, and she's going to pay you. Now go and start packing!"

Sid glared at his father but stalked upstairs to his room. This was totally unfair. Everyone else got to do something better than taking care of a stinky old farm! Gerald got to work at the arcade. Harold got to work for Mr. Green. Helga, that lucky bitch, was going to Hawaii when her parents renewed their vows. Even _Curly_ was going on vacation. But Sid had to go and look after his Grandmother's farm the whole damn summer.

Instead of packing, Sid sat sulking on his bed. He turned his radio on and played his music loud, seething in anger at his father. What was his father thinking? He expected Sid to turn into some farm-bred, horticulture extraordinaire? Well, that wasn't going to work, Sid was a city kid, through and through.

When his father yelled at him, Sid turned his music down a little, but still didn't pack. He just picked up his phone and called Stinky.

"What's up, Sid?" Stinky asked.

"I am so pissed off!" Sid said. "I have to take care of my grandma's stupid farm the whole goddamn summer!"

"What?" Stinky said.

So Sid explained to Stinky how his grandmother was going on trip and was going to be gone the whole summer. Sid told him about how his father had volunteered him to be the one to take care of the farm and how he had to give up his whole summer to that hag now. And he told him how angry he was that he had to miss a whole summer of concerts just to milk a cow and watch corn grow.

"That shure does bite, Sid," Stinky said.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sid muttered. "At least I'm getting paid,"

"Aw, then it's not so bad, no one's wanted to hire me," Stinky said.

"Hey! Then why don't you come and help me, we can split the money 50/50!" Sid said, excited at the idea.

"Really?" Stinky asked, sounding surprised and a little unsure.

"Yeah. You can grow stuff, so you can keep her garden alive and I can take care of the animals and you've got that beat up old truck, so we can drive back into town and do stuff!" Sid said quickly. It was all coming to him now!

"Well, shure then. The only thing is you gotta keep that house well stocked with lemon puddin'," Stinky laid down the conditions of the deal.

"Will do! I'll go ask my dad right now, I'll call you back, bye Stink!" Sid dropped the phone back in its cradle and ran downstairs.

His father was sitting on the sofa watching TV. Sid approached the sofa quietly and sat down next to his father, who gave Sid a sidelong glance. Sid swallowed and spoke up.

"So, Dad, I've been doing some thinking, and, uh, I was wondering if I could have a friend help me out. Y'know, he's real good at farming and stuff," Sid started

"No."

"What? Why?"

"I told your grandmother that you'd do it, not you and one of your little friends. If she can do it all by herself at 85, you can do it at 17, Sid."

"But," Sid started.

"No buts. Now go pack. I'm taking you tomorrow." his father said sternly.

Sid glared but got up and went to his room. He threw a few clothes in a suitcase, then called Stinky back.

"So, what'd he say?" Stinky asked as soon as he picked up.

"He said," Sid trailed off. "He said it's okay. You just have to drive yourself because... you know my dad's coupé. It's only got two seats. I'll give you the address and you can meet me there at, uh, 5. And it's from like, tomorrow 'til August 5th."

"Okey dokey. Well it ain't like I've got somethin' better to do this summer. See you tomorrow, Sid," Stinky said.

"See you later," Sid said and hung up.

He hoped that his father would be taking him bright and early tomorrow. Because, wow, that would be bad if he and Stinky showed up at the same time. Sid sighed and hoped that his plan worked out.

He finished packing (quite haphazardly) and threw his suitcases off the bed. Once his bed was free, Sid sat down, kicked off his shoes and pants, then laid down and closed his eyes. He waited for sleep to come, but it didn't. He spent the whole night drifting in and out of that half-dreaming state, never getting any real sleep.

When his father knocked on the door the next morning, he was wide awake, feeling more tired than ever. As passed his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he shuddered and nearly threw a towel over the mirror. But he figured a shower would wake him up a little.

Sid stepped out of the shower and vigorously rubbed his hair dry with a towel. His father hated his hair, but Sid like it. It was all the way to his shoulder blades now. He pulled it off his neck into a low pony tail and got dressed in a t-shirt, tight jeans, and his favourite pair of boots. On his way out of his room, he grabbed his suitcase.

He got yelled at for letting the suitcases thump down the stairs loudly and for throwing them carelessly into the Cutlass's trunk. Sid just ignored that and got himself a Thermos full of coffee and an apple. Then he sat in the car, listening to music on his walkman. His father always took a long time to get from the house to the car.

When his father finally got in the car and started it, Sid turned his head and looked out the window. He turned up the volume on his walkman so the music would drown out any attempts his father made to speak to him.

An hour later, they were well outside the city, and in another hour, Sid was watching his grandmother's house draw ever closer. He sighed inwardly and laid his head against the window. Immediately, Sid regretted doing that as the car drove over a pot hole, causing him to bang his head on the window.

Sid got out of the car muttering and rubbing his head. His father got out of the car as well and the both of them watched a short, good-natured looking woman push open the front door, then putter down the stairs and through the front yard. She got a good look at her son and grandson, then laughed, hugging them both.

"Sidney! I thought you were a girl! You ever gonna cut that hair? Ray, I can't believe you let the boy run around with hair like that!" Sid's grandmother laughed.

"It's not like I like it, Ma."

"Ha, I know, Ray. Okay, Siddy, let me show you what to do," his grandmother took him rather forcefully by the hand and showed him around the farm, explaining to him how to take care of all the plants and animals that she kept.

Sid tried to pay the best attention he could, but even so, he found his focus slipping. He looked around the farm. It had a certain picturesque look to it, with rolling hills and plots of land separated by streams and trees. Sid watched some cows in a far off field graze until he was yanked in the house.

"I know you've got that teenage attention span, so I wrote all the important things down," his grandmother said, pointing to some sheets of paper on the kitchen table. "Thank you for doing this, Sid, you're a sweetie. Now give me a kiss," Sid kissed his grandmother's withered cheek, "Take good care of my house! I want every plant alive when I come back!"

She left laughing and yelling at her son to take her to the airport.

Sid had only ever been to his grandmother's house once, so he spent the next hour exploring the house and grounds. To his surprise, in the barn, were horses. One of the stalls had a note on it that read, in his grandmother's handwriting, _Sid, you can take this horse out for a ride whenever you'd like. He's a gentle old thing._

Sid had always wanted to ride horses. But lessons were expensive, and horses didn't keep well in the city, so he had only taken a few lessons.

With the best of his knowledge, he saddled up the horse and struggled on its back. Then he rode out around the house and over all of his grandmother's land. The horse was a very placid one, it plodded along contentedly, only stopping occasionally to strip a twig of its leaves or the ground of its grass.

When he had had enough riding, Sid checked his watch and saw that he had better get back to the house since it was nearly five. Sid took the saddle off the horse, cleaned out its hooves, and brushed it, as well as he could recollect. Then he led the horse back to its stall and ran back to the house, intending to take a quick shower and change his clothes, since he had been outside for quite a while.

But Stinky's pick up was already in the driveway. Sid check in it and saw that Stinky wasn't in the truck, so he walked up the driveway and went back in the house. Stinky sat at the kitchen table, looking at all the notes with a bemused expression.

"Hey," Sid said, sounding more out of breath than he meant to.

"...Hey," Stinky said, looking up.

"I got here kinda early, and my grandma, she has horses, so I was riding one," Sid said hurriedly.

"Really? I haven't ridden a horse ever, Sid. But, wow, your grandma sounds like a piece o' work. I mean, 'Now, Sidney, I know you've only used a hose to water your lawn, but you need to water the garden every day...'" Stinky laughed.

Sid leaned over and whipped the papers out of Stinky's hand, feeling heat creep into his cheeks.

"I never knew you was really named Sidney," Stinky grinned.

"What, did you think I wanted to go around being called Sidney?" Sid said grumpily, shuffling the papers. "I'd never make it past elementary school."

Stinky just laughed again and got up. Sid wiped the sweat off his forehead and grabbed the suitcases that he had left sitting on the kitchen floor.

"So, there's only one bedroom, one of us is gonna have to sleep on the floor," Sid said awkwardly.

"Didn't your dad grow up here?" Stinky asked.

"No... my grandparents only moved here after I was born... Grandpa always said he hated the city," Sid explained. "So they must have thought that they didn't need more than one bedroom. Anyway, who sleeps where tonight?"

"I dunno, I'll take the floor I guess. But you gotta take it tomorrah. Now where's my lemon puddin'? I was looking forward to it the whole dang drive," Stinky said.

"Oh, shit."

"No lemon puddin'? Aw, fuck you, Sid," Stinky said, but he didn't seem surprised.

"I'll take your suitcases upstairs, instead?" Sid suggested nervously.

"We could make some puddin'. Naw, I'll make some puddin' and you can take all the suitcases up stairs," Stinky laughed.

Sid rolled his eyes but lugged all the suitcases upstairs. When all the luggage was in the bedroom, Sid rooted around in one of his own suitcases for clean clothes. He took a well-deserved and needed shower.

After he got dressed, Sid walked downstairs to find Stinky in the living room, staring at all the pictures his grandmother had put up.

"What're you doing, looking at those dumb pictures for? I got us something fun," Sid held up a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Shit, Sid!"

"Yeah, I got it from Gino. It's the real thing, man. So's this weed I got from him, you gotta try it," Sid opened the bottle and took a swig from it. He spluttered a little, but tried to keep his face impassive.

"So you want me to spend this whole house sittin' job getting drunk with you?" Stinky asked.

Sid couldn't tell if he was pissed or pleased. "Not drunk. High too," Sid said sheepishly, for lack of something to say.

"You're not a good drunk, Sid. And you're no fun high, either," Stinky told him.

"Why do you smoke with me all the time then if I'm not any fun? All you do is talk about how Mr. Nutty bars are going to cause world peace," Sid retorted.

"You're just more paranoid than normal," Stinky said.

"Look, I tried what I brought and it's great. I didn't get paranoid or nothing."

Stinky didn't seem convinced. He left the living room and walked to the kitchen. Sid watched him pull a dish of what looked like lemon pudding out of the refrigerator. Stinky just plopped down at the kitchen table and began to enjoy his lemon pudding, so Sid stalked upstairs to the bedroom.

He had brought one suitcase of clothes. In the other suitcase, he had put everything from his room that he didn't want his dad to find. It wasn't very hard for him to fish out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He knew his dad would kill him if he got caught smoking, but hey, his dad was two and a half hours away.

Sid sat outside a long time, mainly twirling the cigarette between his fingers instead of actually smoking it. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. Stinky was always a bit of a stickler. He always seemed attracted to doing "forbidden" things, but Sid knew that he felt guilty afterwards, no matter how good the high had been. Sid had stopped feeling guilty a long time ago.

He didn't know what Stinky meant by him being paranoid. Smoking dope had always made him feel mellow. Whatever. He could relax and Stinky could be all uptight. Sid threw the cigarette butt on the ground and drove it into the dirt with the ball of his foot. Then he picked it up and tossed it in the bed of Stinky's pick up. He couldn't leave evidence like that lying around.

When Sid came back inside, Stinky was sitting in the living room again, squinting at the ancient TV inhabiting most of the room. Sid sat down next to him, ignoring how Stinky wrinkled his nose.

"Yer gramma don't have cable?"

"Nope," Sid picked up the remote and flipped through all 5 channels. "What're we gonna do for dinner?"

"I already had mine. Lemon puddin'," Stinky grinned.

"And you didn't save any for me? Asswipe," Sid punched Stinky in the arm.

Stinky laughed but punched Sid back. Sid retaliated with a shove. Stinky gleefully shoved Sid off the sofa. Sid pulled Stinky off the sofa by the leg. Stinky kicked Sid and Sid tried to put Stinky in a head lock. Soon both boys were embroiled in a rough fight, and neither was winning, until Stinky stood up.

Sid grabbed Stinky's legs. Sid tried to knock his friend back over by pulling his legs out from under him, and push him around, but only ended up failing and pulling Stinky's jeans down in the process. Sid quickly let go of Stinky's legs and gave the fight up as a lost cause.

"That was an unfair fight! You're taller and stronger," Sid stuck his tongue out.

He was sitting cross-legged on the floor now, with his arms across his chest.

"I didn't know I was going to be pantsed," Stinky replied.

"I didn't mean to pants you!" Sid said quickly. "If you didn't wear your jeans so loose and stuff, I mean, it's not like I wanted to see you and your smelly old boxers. Boy howdy, don't get any ideas or anything!"

"Sid, I'm gonna hand you a shovel if you don't go and shut up," Stinky said as he got his jeans back in their rightful place.

"Right, yeah, okay," Sid made a fist and nervously rubbed it with his other hand. "So dinner? Yeah? Dinner. Do they deliver pizza out here? Damn, I wish my grandma had a computer. Oh shit! I gotta go... go and feed the animals, boy, it's real late and I gotta do that!"

Sid ran out of the living room and into the relative safety of the barn. His heart was beating fast and he could sure have gone for a cigarette. Instead, he took a few deep breaths and calmed down. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe he never should have invited Stinky. Sid took a few more deep breaths.

When he was sure he was calm enough, Sid cleaned out all the stalls in the barn and made sure there was plenty of food and water. Then he went out into the pasture and brought the horses in for the night, checking them all to make sure they were healthy. He would never live it down if a horse died in his care.

Once all the animals were taken care of, Sid watered the garden, taking care not to get too much water on the leaves and fruits, like he had been cautioned. Hey, wait! Why was he watering the plants? Stinky was supposed to do that. He was the farm-y guy around here. Sid shrugged it off and figured one night wouldn't hurt.

Sid trudged into the house an hour later, tired, sore, and sweaty. He flopped right down on the sofa, draping his lanky limbs all over the piece of furniture. The sofa wasn't so bad. Maybe he'd sleep on it tomorrow night. If he could get over the fact that half his body didn't fit on it.

He had nearly fallen asleep when he heard footsteps along with the creak of the stairs. Sid sat up and rubbed his eyes. Stinky was standing on the stairs in his pyjamas.

"I don't think you understand much about farmin', Sid. You gotta get up early every day," Stinky said.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming to bed. The sofa is just so damn comfortable," Sid said.

He got up from the couch. Stinky shrugged and walked back upstairs. Sid pulled his hair loose from its pony tail and roughed it up with his hands. Blowing some strands out of his eyes, Sid stumbled up the stairs. Stinky had already made a makeshift bed with quilts on the floor. He was currently sitting with his back against the bed, trying to figure out an algebra problem in a workbook.

Sid watched him a second before pulling off his shirt. He sat on the bed and removed his boots, putting them on the floor. He would have to clean and polish them in the morning. Sid wished he had brought different shoes; those boots were too nice to be ruined by manure and dirt. Finally, Sid grabbed a pair of shorts and changed into them. Only then did he crawl into bed and fall asleep to the quiet sound of Stinky's breathing.

–

I reserve the right to write at least _one_ crack slash pairing.

Of course, I couldn't choose a respectable Robin/Beast Boy, but Sid and Stinky. Go figure. Hopefully I got them both decently in character.

I decided to go with an M rating for this once because of the whole under age drinking and smoking, and drug usage. Not for sex. No lemons in this story. I couldn't do that.

Please be naise I am sensitive u_u.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning the alarm woke Sid. He randomly dropped his hand around the beside table, trying to find the snooze button, but the alarm wasn't on the table, so he only ended up with a sore hand. Dammit! Where was the alarm? Sid sat up and pushed his hair out of his face.

Weak morning sunlight streamed through the windows. Stinky wasn't in his makeshift bed, but the shower was running. Sid got out of bed and saw that the alarm had been placed on the dresser across the room. He groaned and shut it off, enjoying the silence for a few seconds.

Sid's stomach growled when he remembered he hadn't eaten dinner last night. Quickly throwing on some old clothes, Sid ran downstairs and looked in the refrigerator. Nothing immediately seemed appealing until he saw a carton of eggs crammed in the very back. Carefully, he extracted the carton from the recesses of the fridge.

In no time, the smell of breakfast was wafting through the house. Stinky came downstairs soon after.

"Smells good, Sid."

"You bet it does. And you're not getting any," Sid said as he moved the eggs around the pan with a spatula.

"You're a right asshole, sometimes, Sid," Stinky got himself a glass of milk.

"Hey, you didn't save me any dinner last night."

"Since puddin' is a complete meal,"

"Yep," Sid scraped the eggs from the pan onto a plate that was already filled with buttered toast.

Stinky, however, made himself some eggs as well. Both boys sat at the table, quietly eating. The silence was almost relaxing. It was never quiet in the city, there was always the far off siren, the traffic, the sound of so many people packed so close together. Sid had nearly finished all of his breakfast when Stinky spoke up.

"Maybe we should trade off cookin' duties too, so we don't get too famished because we can't cook," he suggested.

"Yeah... that means we'll have to go to the grocery store together and get food and you know what they'll think when we go to the grocery store together?"

"That we're two fellas going to the store and buyin' food?"

"That we're― yeah, that we're that!" Sid said a little too enthusiastically.

"You are paranoid about the weirdest things, Sid," Stinky laughed. "C'mon, I'll go and take care of alla them plants, and you can take care of the animals."

"Yeah, okay," Sid said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Sid let all the horses back into the pasture, making sure there was ample water and feed out there. After that, he cleaned out all the stalls again, which he didn't like at all. When the barn was clean, Sid walked a little ways to the chicken coop to collect the eggs. At least they wouldn't have to buy eggs at the grocery store.

When all his chores were done, Sid went back to the pasture. He stood at the fence for a long time, watching the horses graze. He watched them canter around the field and he watched them touch their noses together. Sid didn't even notice Stinky come up behind him until Stinky spoke. When he did, Sid nearly leapt out of his shoes from fright.

"Jesus!" Sid clutched at his heart.

Stinky chortled. "Sorry, Sid. Yer too easy to scare. So are we gonna ride horses today? I'd feel like more of a country boy if I could ride a horse."

"Well, lets take them out for a ride then," Sid said.

They walked around the fence and into the barn. Sid got tack for the both of them and showed Stinky how to saddle the horse. He was letting Stinky ride the gentle horse he had ridden yesterday. Sid had picked out the next less nervous seeming horse for himself, but he wasn't really sure he had picked the right horse.

When both horses were ready to be ridden, Sid and Stinky led them out of the pasture, closed the gate behind them, and hopped up on their respective horses. Sid set off at a walk. He looked behind him and saw Stinky sitting in the same spot. He hadn't moved. The horse was eating some grass.

"The dang horse won't go!" Stinky said.

Sid turned his horse around and came back. "You gotta use your legs, here," Sid demonstrated getting his horse to walk. "It's not a dumb trail horse, it won't just go."

"Dang, guess I'm not good at horse ridin' neither."

"It's not something you can learn overnight," Sid said. "Try and get your horse to walk."

Stinky tried again and succeeded in getting his horse to walk. Sid and Stinky set out, with Sid leading Stinky along the path he had followed yesterday. They rode for a long time, longer than Sid had ridden yesterday. The sun had risen directly over head and was beating down on both their necks.

Sid felt beads of sweat drip down his face. He wished he had a hat on, his head was feeling wicket hot. In fact, they probably should have planned this better. They should have brought something to drink. Sid looked down and saw a little stream cutting through the ground. He suddenly grew very thirsty.

"It's getting really hot. Let's turn around," Sid said.

"You read my mind," Stinky said. "Just hol' on a second... okay."

They turned their horses around and Stinky was leading the way back this time. Somewhere along the ride, Stinky had taken off his shirt and was letting it dangle from the waistband of his jeans. Sid swallowed. Stinky had a nice back. He had seen that back many times. He had watched those shoulder blades and those ribs and that spine and... and now he had to stare at it, had to watch all those light-catching nuances glisten with sweat in the sun... What the hell? Sid felt his eyes grow wide.

He quickly got his horse up in front of Stinky's. "I think I should lead the way back, you know. I'm a little more familiar around here than you are," Sid said.

"I do believe I'm just as capable as you, Sid, and if I knew how to make my horse gallop, I'd be right up there leadin' the way," Stinky said. "I'd prolly punch you too, on accounta you're being an asshole."

"Yeah, but you're stuck where you are, because you can't ride a horse, so ha freakin' ha!" Sid retorted.

Stinky flipped Sid off.

"You should probably put your shirt back on too! If the wind blows and makes it flap, your horse will probably freak the fuck out," Sid said.

"Hey! You only said you took a few lessons, so why are you tha horse expert here?" Stinky asked.

"Just wait! The wind's gonna blow and your horse is gonna throw you!" Sid said.

Stinky didn't say anything to that, so they rode in silence for a few more minutes. The air was still and heavy. Sid felt like he was being smothered from it. He wiped sweat from his brow and sighed. He was really thirsty.

Finally, Sid saw the barn. He stopped his horse when he was close enough and hopped off, opening the gate and leading his horse inside. Sid held the gate open for Stinky, who walked in on his horse. Stinky got off and wobbled around for a few moments.

Sid helped Stinky take off the saddle and showed him how to take care of the horse after it had been ridden. When that had been done and the tack had been put away, Sid sighed, then jumped up and sat on the fence. Stinky did the same, pulling his shirt from his pants to wipe his face.

"Damn, it's hot," Sid said, wiping his face off again. He regretted wearing a black shirt and he especially regretted being born with black hair. "Do you feel like more of a cowboy now?"

"Huh,I suppose I do," Stinky grinned. "Yee haw and all that. Go and find me a ten-gallon hat."

"You're lame," Sid gave his friend a playful shove.

Stinky just laughed and shook his head. They sat there for a few more minutes and watched the horses graze and swat flies. Sid swung around and hopped off the fence after a few minutes.

"Well, I'm going to go get a drink," he said.

"Sounds like a mighty fine idea," Stinky said as he hopped off the fence too.

They walked together into the house. Sid made a beeline for the kitchen. He quickly grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, then filled it up to the brim with cold water from the tap. Sid gulped it down and thought that he had never tasted water so good or delicious. He felt better after that and filled his glass up again.

Sid glanced over at Stinky, who was draining a glass of water as well. He watched a few drops of water wind their way from the corners of Stinky's lips and down his neck. Sid looked away and stared into his own glass of water.

"Now what do we do?" Sid asked after a few moments of silence between them.

"Hmm," Stinky shrugged.

Sid turned away when Stinky took his shirt from his shoulder where it had been slung and slipped it back over his head. Sid's eyes travelled to the bottle of Jack on the table, where he had left it last night. He looked back at Stinky, who had just finished the last bit of water.

"We could eat something, and then go out to that dinky little town," Sid said.

"Okie dokie," Stinky said. "You make us some sandwiches."

"What? Why me?" Sid whined.

"Because I'm gonna go take a shower," Stinky said.

Sid stuck out his tongue but made two bologna sandwiches. He quickly ate his, leaving Stinky's sandwich sitting on the table. Then he got a coca-cola from the fridge and poured some out in a glass along with some Jack. If he was going out, he was going to have some liquor in him.

When Stinky came back downstairs, freshly showered and smelling like soap, Sid took his drink upstairs with him. Sid got in the shower and relaxed for a few moments. When he was done relaxing, Sid scrubbed himself clean, letting the suds wash away any trace of sweat.

He got out of the shower, shut it off, and blotted his hair dry before wrapping the towel around his waist. The glass of coke and Jack on the vanity counter was calling to him, so Sid drained it. He swirled the ice cubes in the glass around for a moment or two, then popped one out and stuck it in his mouth to crunch on while he ran his fingers through his mane of black hair.

Once Sid had gotten dressed and deemed himself presentable, he headed downstairs. Stinky was silently eating his sandwich. Sid sat down across from him.

"So what's there ta do in town?" Stinky asked, after swallowing a mouthful of bologna

"I dunno, I've never been there," Sid said. "I guess we'll find out when we get there.

Stinky stuffed the last half of his sandwich in his mouth and got up from the table. Sid got up too, following Stinky outside to his pick up. After some coaxing, Stinky got the ancient truck to start and both boys were off towards town.

It took about ten minutes to drive to town. Stinky pulled up and parked in front of a restaurant. He shut off the car then got out. Sid did the same, while glancing up and down the street, trying to discern which way to go. Neither way looked promising, as both sides were filled with dispirited looking shops, bars, and a few eateries. There was a theatre down at the very end of the street.

"None of this looks fun," Sid said.

He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and extracted one from the box.

"Aw, don't do that around me," Stinky whined.

Sid flipped the unlit cigarette up and down with his lips before sticking it behind his ear. "Fine."

"Let's go an' eat at that place, I'm still hungry," Stinky said, pointing to a small, dinky sort of place a few stores down.

"You're a regular bottomless pit, Stink," Sid muttered.

However, he followed his friend down to the restaurant. Inside, it was dimly lit with a few scattered tables. There was a bar stuck in the very back, with a few customers sitting at it. Nobody occupied the tables, which made Sid question the edibility of the place. Slats of sunlight fell in from the windows, giving the place a golden look. Ceiling fans turned lazily, doing nothing to circulate the hot, stifling air.

"Why did you want to eat here?" Sid said under his breath.

A girl came up to them, gave them both menus, and lead them to their table. She was a lithe and fit bottle blonde with a generic pretty face. Sid noticed she gave Stinky a coy smile.

"Can I get you boys anything to drink?" she asked, her eyes still fixed on Stinky.

"I'll just have a coke, ma'am," Stinky returned the smile.

Douchebag had always been a ladies man, Sid thought.

"And for you?" she fixed her steely grey eyes on Sid.

"Water," Sid said.

"All right, boys, I'll have those right with you," she said, then walked off.

Stupid girl, Sid thought. He noticed how she had purred the word _boys _and how she had let her hips sway as she walked away. And he had noticed how Stinky's eyes followed her all the way until she disappeared. Sid just took the cigarette from behind his ears and rolled it up and down the table.

The girl returned shortly, presenting Sid and Stinky their respective drinks. She then flipped open her order pad, cocked her hips, and smiled.

"Ready to order?"

"Yes ma'am," Stink placed his order.

"I'm not gonna have anything," Sid said.

"No? You're already skinny," she laughed, but acquiesced and left them alone again.

"I do believe she's flirtin' with me," Stinky leaned in to share the obvious secret with Sid.

"Yeah, really, dingus?" Sid retorted.

The dinner was brought and Sid watched Stinky practically inhale it, alternately watching their waitress send Stinky goo-goo eyes. He couldn't stand it halfway through, so he left to go smoke. When he came back, Stinky had finished and their waitress was bringing the check.

"You know," their waitress said, as she set the check on the table, "I bet you boys could show my friend and me a real good time tonight. My shift is over in an hour. Do you want to meet us outside here?"

"Hot damn, I'd love to, ma'am!" Stink said.

"Great. I'm Holly, by the way, and, oh, my friend Nina will love you," she said, finally giving Sid a good long look. Then she smiled sweetly and straightened up. "Thanks for stopping in."

Sid and Stinky left. Sid lit up once he was outside again, not caring that Stinky hated it. Why was he going and volunteering to show a whore around? Was he that desperate to get laid? Seriously. And what the hell were they going to do for an hour? Walk around this two-bit town? Yeah right.

Eventually, the hour did pass. Sid was leaned up against the wall of the restaurant, puffing away and trying to blow smoke rings. Stinky was standing upwind, looking anxiously at the door. Sid bet that Nina was ugly.

But she wasn't. Holly opened the door and a girl that had to be Nina followed. Sid had to admit that she was pretty, probably prettier than Holly. She had dark skin and flashing eyes, with a mess of wild hair that seemed to have a mind of its own. She was taller than Holly, and more full figured. Sid just gaped for a few seconds, then brought his cigarette up to his lips so he didn't look like an open-mouthed moron.

"Hey," Holly smiled. She had taken off the large t-shirt she had been wearing at the restaurant, leaving the tank top underneath exposed. Nina had done the same thing. "This is my friend, Nina. She's always had _weird_ taste in men," Holly laughed.

Sid raised his eyebrows curiously at Holly.

"Well, I'm Stinky and this here's ma friend, Sid," Stinky introduced them both.

"Great," Nina said, smiling. "Now why don't you takes us back to your place?"

All four of them trooped back to Stinky's truck. Stinky, ever the gentleman, opened the passenger door for Holly, who graciously accepted his hand when she got in the car. Sid frowned and crawled into the bed of the truck, then, to be polite, offered his hand to Nina to help her up. She refused and scrambled in by herself.

Stinky managed to get the car started again and with that, they were off. Sid and Nina sat silently in the back, being jostled around. Sid licked his lips nervously. Nina was staring off the side of the bed into the distance. Sid peeked in the cab; Holly and Stinky were chatting it up.

"Looks like they're hitting it off," Sid said lamely.

"Yeah... and I'd love to hit it off with you," Nina put her arm past Sid's waist and leaned over him.

"Oh, great," Sid said.

"Just great? You're not popping a boner already, knowing you're going to get laid by a girl way out of your league?" Nina purred in his ear.

She was practically lying on top of him. He could smell her; she smelled like an odd combination of food and sickly sweet perfume. And the thing that worried him the most was not that he had a strange girl on top of him, but that he wasn't turned on by any of this.

Here he was, with a hot as hell woman over him, ready and willing to _do_ him of all things, and he couldn't get it up. That worried him. That worried him a lot.

"Trust me, I'm absolutely ecstatic," Sid said, somewhat sarcastically, but Nina was already trailing a finger up and down his thigh.

So Sid closed his eyes. And then he got an image that it was a certain someone who was laying their lips on his neck, sliding their hands up his shirt, and slipping their hand down his pants. And what worried him even more was that _that_ was turning him on.

When Stinky parked the pick up and shut it off with a clunk, Sid's eyes sprung open. Nina clambered off him and hopped out of the bed. Sid swallowed and did his pants back up. Nina was throwing him a "are you coming or what," look, so he quickly got out of the bed as well and stumbled inside with the other three.

Then he ran upstairs and downed a few more swallows of liquor.

Holy shit, what was wrong with him? Why was he getting turned on by thinking about _that_ of all things? How come a hot-blooded, beautiful female like Nina wasn't doing the trick? Were his suspicions turning out to be true? Oh god, he hoped not.

The door creaked open. It was Nina. She silently shut the door behind her.

"What a gentleman, keeping all the good stuff for himself," she walked over and swiped the bottle from his hands, then threw back a few gulps herself.

"Heh, this stuff is hard for me to get," Sid said nervously, but not as nervously as before. The alcohol was starting to take effect.

"You know what else I like that's hard to get?" Nina gently pushed Sid onto the bed. She straddled him and pulled off her shirt. "Sex. There aren't enough good fucks around this stupid town. I hope you can deliver, nosey."

Nina bent down and while she kissed Sid, she also started to slip the plaid shirt he was wearing off his body. Sid reached up and fumbled with her bra until Nina got frustrated and undid it herself, one-handedly.

He was starting to feel fuzzy. Sid let his eyes close again and his imagination drift.

–

Pars 2. Don't know how updates will be because I've just started classes and they're pretty difficult.

I've been trying to write Stinky's accent in a non annoying way. It bugs me when pe'pal muhst write out evraything phonetically laike as it sounds in reel laife.

And I don't think Stinky's gay. Sid has a slight chance, but I don't think either of them are really gay. I just wanted to write it like they were because I suck lol.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, he woke up with a huge headache. Nina was nowhere to be seen, but evidence of the night before was. Sid slowly sat up, rubbing his head. His clothes were in a pile on the floor and the door to the bedroom was open. Sid looked down at himself. He was completely naked, so he leaned to one side and made sure that no one was looking into the bedroom before he dashed and closed the door.

He rubbed his head again. Last night was a little hazy, but he could remember it well. He hoped he never saw Nina and that Stinky never met Holly again. Or else everything would be over.

Sid pulled on a pair of boxers, then wandered downstairs. Stinky was asleep on the couch, most of his body falling off it. He was naked too. Sid averted his eyes and walked outside to the barn. He had forgotten to put the horses inside last night and he wanted to make sure they were okay.

They were. He felt relieved, and after tending to their needs the best he could half naked and barefoot, Sid went back inside. He sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed his head.

A loud thump came from the living room. Sid watched Stinky's head pop up from behind the couch. Stinky glanced around a few times, then looked down at himself and screwed up his face. Sid gave him a two fingered half wave, half salute, and turned around, so Stinky had time to run upstairs.

Once Sid had got himself a plate of toast and a glass of milk, Stinky had come downstairs, with pants, thankfully. He just got a glass of water and sat down across from Sid, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Sid quietly ate his breakfast. He waited for Stinky to say something, but it never came.

"So, uh, you had a good time with Holly last night then?" Sid asked.

Stinky just shook his head, then looked up and locked his bleary eyes with Sid's. "I never wanted to make love to her."

Sid put his piece of toast down and made a face. "Well... you _were_ the one who brought her home. It was pretty obvious what she wanted."

"I know," Stinky sighed and looked down at the Formica tabletop again.

"Thank god I was drunk last night," Sid muttered into his glass.

"You were drunk?" Stinky asked.

"Yeah. Well, maybe buzzed, but not, you know, pukey drunk." Stinky didn't say anything so Sid got up, put the dishes in the sink. "Anyways. I'm gonna go take a shower, you can stay here and be all paranoid about getting a venereal disease or whatever it is you're miserable about."

Sid was halfway up the stairs when he heard Stinky calling, "What if I got her pregnant?"

"You won't. Don't pull a me, Stink. It was just one time," Sid stuck his head around the corner and back into the kitchen.

"I can't believe it. I lost it to a damn... whore!" Stinky buried his face in his hands again.

Sid hopped off the stairs and walked over to Stinky. Wow, he's really beating himself up over this, Sid thought.

"Was she even any good?"

"I don't know!" Stinky said loudly, with a small quiver to his voice.

"Just... calm down, Stinky, Jesus," Sid said.

He hesitated a second, then put his hand on his friend's back, in what he hoped appeared a comforting gesture. Stink just shook his head again, then got up. Sid drew his hand back, but he was surprised when Stinky threw his arms around him. Sid swallowed and patted Stinky's back awkwardly.

"It was just sex. Just a dick in a pussy," Sid muttered, wishing that Stinky would let go of him. "Now, uh, buck up and let go of me."

Stinky took a great big breath and did so. Sid swallowed then took a deep breath. He looked anywhere but Stinky until he had exhaled. Stinky was nodding his head a little and staring decidedly up at the ceiling. Sid saw a wet glimmer rimmed his eyes.

"I apologize," Stinky started, deciding it was safe enough to look at Sid again.

"Forgeddaboutit," Sid waved his hand. "Go and put a shirt on."

Stinky nodded again before leaving the kitchen and walking upstairs. Sid just shook his head. If Stinky had hugged him for one more second... ugh. He need a cigarette.

Sid licked his lips, then slowly blew out a plume of smoke, watching it billow as it escaped. Oh, sweet cancer-sticks, what would I do without you, Sid thought, opening the pack and pulling another one out. He lit it, then snubbed the butt of the first cigarette on the porch's railing.

Out in the distance, there was a red pick up driving. It was trailed constantly by a plume of dust. Sid watched as the truck came closer and closer, eventually turning down the driveway. The pick up came to a stop right behind Stinky's. Sid just took a drag. The engine roared one last time before the driver killed it.

Holly stepped out. She looked different today. At the restaurant, she had worn no make up and Sid thought her prettier for that. Now, although she was still dressed about the same, Sid thought she looked a lot more... whoreish with foundation flaking off her cheek.

"Oh, hi, Sid! You're, er... in your underwear," she said awkwardly as she walked up the stairs to the porch.

Sid bit back a sarcastic response. "Yeah. You need something?" Sid sent some smoke straight into her face.

Holly screwed up her face and waved her hand around to clear the smoke away. "Yeah, I just wanted to talk to Stinky."

Sid gave her a look. She wanted to talk to Stinky. Stinky would probably start blubbering the minute he saw Holly, considering how he reacted this morning. Holly just sort of waited there expectantly. Sid watched her rub her cheek, then primp her mascara'd eyelashes.

"I'll go get him," Sid sighed finally.

Stinky was sitting on the bed upstairs. Sid knocked on the door frame before coming into the room. Stinky looked up and upon seeing it was only Sid, looked back at his hands. Sid wondered if the poor guy was _really_ that destroyed about not being a virgin any more. Sid didn't care. He was glad he got it over and done with. He couldn't believe himself sometimes, a virgin at 17.

"Holly's here. She wants to see you," Sid said.

"What?" Stinky looked shocked.

"Yeah, she's down there right now all hussied up for you," Sid told his friend.

"Oh, damn, that really bites," Stinky whimpered, but he heaved himself off the bed and left the room.

Sid quickly got on some jeans and then followed Stinky downstairs. He was already out on the porch. Holly was talking. Sid had a feeling this was something for Stinky's ear's only, so he hunched down around the wall. The door was open, leaving the words to drift in through the screen door.

"―really bad about last night. I just... sometimes I wonder, what the hell am I doing? But sometimes I just don't care, though last night wasn't one of those nights. You're not like any guy, Stinky... are you really named that?"

Stinky interjected with a yes'm.

"I felt like I took advantage of you, and I wanted to just say I was sorry. And I was thinking... we could maybe be friends. It was just... sex for me. I don't want a relationship like that with you, but I don't know, Stinky, you're just different. I'd like to get to know you," Holly finished.

"I.. I dunno," Stinky was at a loss for words.

"Well, what'dya say you let me buy you lunch. Go and... put a shirt on... and we can go," Holly said.

"I guess, but I kindly insist I pay," Stinky said.

Holly laughed a little. "If you like being a gentleman."

Stinky pulled open the screen door and let himself inside. He stopped when he got a good look at Sid, hunched over by the door. Sid figured he looked like some creepy stalker, so he got down on his knees and squinted with one eye.

"I dropped a cig. It rolled under the couch," Sid lied quickly.

"Right," was all Stinky said.

This was going to be a long summer.

Sid was resting on the couch, flicking a lighter repeatedly. He had smoked a little weed and was feeling pretty good. Last night wasn't even on his mind. The light was nice. One of his tapes was in the deck, so he let himself sink deep into the bluesey guitar tone of Led Zeppelin.

He barely looked up when he heard the door open. It was now late in the afternoon. The mugginess of the noon hour had worn off, leaving a sleepy calm in its wake. Sid was sweating in his clothes and had thrown all the windows open in hopes of catching a breeze as well as clearing out the smell.

"I said I can't quit you baby... I think I gotta put you down for a while," Sid sang along softly.

"Sid?" Stinky asked.

Sid looked past his feet. The door had opened, yeah? When did that happen? How long had Stinky been back? Sid sat up and shook his hair out of his face. Stinky was standing there, with the sun to his back and a face full of sweat.

"Yeah?" Sid pushed his hair out of his face.

"We gotta talk.. cuz Holly tole me, she tole me what happened last night with you and Nina," Stinky was looking uncomfortable.

Sid felt his stomach drop. A sense of panic spread through him; he tingled from head to foot, and boy howdy did he want to run out that door. He nearly did. He got to his feet and he ran for the door but he stumbled and tripped and fell over himself.

Stinky had an eerie, blank look on his face now. He shut the door and stood in front of it, so there was no escape for Sid. Sid just put his face in his hands. It was all over. Everything was over.

He let himself look up at Stinky one last time. Sid took a big breath. He locked his eyes on Stinky's. He felt like his voice was going to betray him. It was going to crack and he was going to cry and... Sid shook his head spoke in the most confident voice he could:

"Yeah. It's true. I'm fuckin'... fuckin' gay for you."

Then he knocked Stinky out of the way and bolted out the door. That last part wasn't supposed to slip out.

–

Hey, look, you get another part because I'm putting off studying and don't have anything to do on campus, yay! It is ridiculously hard to expand on Sid's character besides paranoia and stubbornness and the tendency to overreact. Stinky's is hard too, because he's idk, not an emotional character I guess.

Reeee, idk.


	4. Chapter 4

Sid felt ashamed. He was down at the creek he had seen in passing. His fingers scrabbled over dirt, trying to find a stone. As soon as he found one, he chucked it as hard as he could into the creek. The ache forming in his arm distracted him from the salt-water rivers running down his cheeks.

Eventually, he had to admit that there weren't any more rocks in the greater vicinity. So he just sat there, starting at the gnats hovering over the muddy water, catching the low light and glowing white hot. Insects buzzed and the smell of damp, dank, still water was heavy around him.

Sid wiped his nose on the back of his hand. Stinky had to hate him now. Had to hate him. Jesus Christ! What could be worse than your best friend having a big-ass, gay crush on you? Sid found himself breathing hard with tears slipping down his face faster than before.

How could she? How could that bitch do that? He had guarded that possibility for years, he was the best actor! Sid bit back a strangled cry. The second he made a decision, everything collapsed around him! Electricity was in his body, it was making him ache. Making him ache to do something, he couldn't just stand still!

Sid leapt to his feet but slumped against a tree: his knees were weak. He looked down at the creek. Suddenly, Sid got an image of his body tumbling roughly down the slope and into the water. Suicide. His mouth got as dry as cotton. Slowly, Sid went from tree to tree, away from the creek, and away from that thought. That was sudden and strange and extreme.

He trooped back up the rolling hills to house and sat down on the porch. Listening very hard, he tried to discern what Stinky was doing in there. He didn't hear anything, so he quietly crept into the house and up the stairs. So far so good.

Sid had made it all the way to the bedroom and was now searching for something... anything. He didn't care if it was his cigarettes or some liquor. He just needed... ugh! Where was that fuckin' suitcase? Shit! It was gone! It was fuckin' gone!

Sid sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. Great. Now what?

He didn't have much of a chance to think about what he could do, because at that moment, the door closed. Stinky stood beside it, arms crossed and a displeased expression on his face.

"I ain't one to pry, Sid. But you own me an explanation," Stinky said. "An' if you bolt, I'll hafta hunt you down an' hog tie ya."

"What more do you need to know?" Sid said defensively.

"For starters, is it true?"

Sid sent Stinky a smouldering glare before muttering, "Didn't I say that?"

"But is it jus' me?"

Sid shrugged and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He felt low, strung out, and defeated.

"I dunno. Never liked many girls," more like none, Sid thought, "never liked many guys. Maybe I haven't met someone who does it for me yet." _Except you._

Stinky was quiet. Sid wished he would say something. Anything would be better than that awful silence. But Sid knew he wouldn't. Stinky had said it himself. He wasn't the overreacting type. So Sid sat there, waiting for Stinky to talk, waiting for the friendship to end, for his life to finish.

"I don' know what to say, Sid," Stinky looked up from the floor.

"Then forget it. Forget this even happened," Sid said, getting up.

"Sid, I don't think I can ignore this," Stinky said.

"I said fucking forget it!" Sid hissed, feeling like a cornered, wounded animal.

Stinky let a frown pull the corners of his mouth down, but that was only for a brief second. Sid pull his knees up to his chest and stared resolutely at the wall. There was oppressing silence for much longer than Sid wanted to count.

There was a thought in Sid's head, but he dared not speak it, because it would make the tension in the room burst, spill over, and turn into a froth. So Sid sat there, regretting everything he ever did until the ringing of a phone startled him.

Sid leaned over the bed and picked up the receiver, fumbling so bad that he nearly dropped it. When it was firmly in his hand, he wrapped the cord around his wrist, lest he actually drop it. It took him a few moments to realize that it was his father speaking. It took a few moments longer to tune into what his father was actually saying. Stinky walked a little closer, listening intently.

"―see how you were doing. So how's it been Sid?" was all Sid caught.

"Good," Sid grunted. He hoped that was an appropriate response.

"That's good. Been taking care of all those animals all right?"

"Yep."

"Well, I'm gonna come up and see how you're doing next week. On Tuesday."

"Cool," Sid said dully.

"You know, I'm proud you're actually taking some responsibility instead of hanging out with the wrong crowd, Sid," his father said.

"Yeah," Sid whispered. Those words stuck him, and made him feel slightly guilty as he was still doing all sorts of wrong things.

"Well, I'll see you Tuesday, Sid," his father said before hanging up.

Sid swallowed and untangled the phone from his wrist before replacing it in its cradle. Stinky was just staring at him. Sid took a deep breath and decided it would be in both of their best interests to ignore what had just taken place.

"My dad's coming up Tuesday," Sid started, before realizing he had another lie to cover up. "But, you know, he just wants to see me, so maybe you could go and hang out with.. whatserface. Holly."

Stinky just stared at Sid for a second before everything clicked. "It really wasn't okay for me ta be up here, was it?" he asked.

"No, no, it was, but I just think it would be better if you weren't here," Sid mentally slapped himself.

He just kept digging himself a bigger hole. He couldn't just man up and admit he had lied, just like he couldn't man up and admit to his dad that he was a bad kid. Sid hated himself. He was such a fucking coward. He was an asshole, he always got what he wanted and never got a comeuppance.

"Sid, you're a bad liar. I don't like keeping company with liars," Stinky said, anger tingeing his voice.

"Then what do you say to your dad all the time after you come home after hanging out with me? You think he don't have no nose?" Sid said angrily. "We're both fucking liars! We're fucking screw-ups!"

"I don't get why you're going off on that, Sid. I said you was a liar," Stinky took a step closer to Sid, with his hands balled into fists.

"And I'm sayin' you're a liar too! We're both the same, we know that one of us is gonna end up in jail one day!" Sid took a step back and found himself pressed against the bedside table.

"It's not gonna be me, Sid! I'm not half as bad as you!" Stinky said, his voice still much quieter than Sid's.

"Yeah! Because you're not queer! Just... just go! Go the fuck home, get the fuck out of my way," Sid shouted, storming past Stinky.

Sid slammed the door behind him and stalked outside to the barn. He watched the horses for a long time. He wished he was a horse. Horses didn't have troubles like he did. Horses just ate, shit, and slept. Sid wanted to sleep. He wanted to just lay the hell down and sleep forever.

Sighing, Sid laid his head down his crossed arms. He picked his head right back up when he heard the dry grass crunching under someone's food. Sid turned and saw Stinky approaching. Stinky had that insipid, dimwitted look on his face. Sid looked away.

"Look, Sid, I'm just gonna go," Stinky said when he was close enough.

"Okay, fine," Sid said without looking at him.

There was a strange silence in which neither boy knew what to say. Sid knew what he wanted to do, what he could do, but what he shouldn't do. He wondered what was going through Stinky's head right now. Sid could feel his eyes boring into the fabric of his shirt. Stinky just stood there like a statue. Sid wondered what the hell he wanted. If Stinky stood there any longer, he'd loose his resolve.

Dammit. Sid turned around and looked at his friend. "Look, things will probably be... weird when we get back home... and,"

"It's weird now, Sid."

"I know! Fuck! Just, I want to kiss you. Just once. I know we can go around ignoring each other once we get back... just throw me a fuckin' bone," Sid pleaded.

"Sid,"

"I. Me. Just me. _I_ just want to kiss you. You don't have to kiss back. What's the use in pretending now?" Sid said, face flushing red as his voice broke. "Pretending I like chicks? That I like their stupid tits?"

"You're gonna go straight back to pretending when we get back home," Stinky countered.

"Shit." Sid knew that Stinky was right. Of course he would. He wouldn't know what his family would do, what his friends would do... what bullshit!

"Jus'... don't think I'm like you. Get your scrawny ass over here and do it," Stinky screwed up his face like he was pained at even the thought.

Sid swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as a bone. He never expected Stinky to agree, but he wasn't going to turn away the opportunity. He left his spot by the fence and walked over to his friend. He was shaking, he was weak in the knees. Sid was worn out, exhausted. It had been a roller coaster, going up and down between tension and awkward silence. But he had reached Stinky. That had taken a long time. Or was it only a few minutes?

Taking a deep breath, Sid put his hand on Stinky's shoulder for support and looked up. Stinky still had the pained look on his face. Was this going to be worth it? Was it going to be all he had imagined it to be?

Sid leaned up. Stinky was a tall guy. His warm shoulder seemed like a rock in a fast flowing river. Sid was still shaking as he placed his lips on Stinky's.

It wasn't all he had imagined it to be. It was more. He never thought it would make him weak in the knees, or that it would give him a fluttering, all together, dare he say, gay, feeling in his stomach, and he especially never thought that it would make him want to keep kissing those lips and never stop.

Sid put his other hand on Stinky's free shoulder and changed the kiss from a timid, barely-there one into a surer one, like he knew what he was doing (he didn't). He was even more surprised when Stinky reciprocated the kiss. But Sid didn't mind that. Not in the least.

Finally, they both pulled away.

Sid looked up at Stinky, Stinky looked down at Sid. They said nothing for a long time. Sid still had his hands on Stinky's shoulders, and at some point, Stinky had put his hands on Sid's waist. Finally, after standing there like that for what seemed to be an hour, Stinky spoke.

"I should go now," he said simply.

"Stay," Sid said, cringing at how his voice had a whining tone to it. "Just stay here with me all summer. It's not like I'm going to tell anyone about this, what do you think I am, dumb as shit?"

"Sid, I don't know if I liked that. It was... I don't know. It wasn't exactly right."

"Then why haven't you let go of me?" Sid countered.

"Because I, dammit," Stinky muttered, taking his hands and stuffing them in his pocket.

Sid felt a sudden chill where his hands used to be. He shook it off and brushed his long hair out of his face. This was never going to work... this had never been meant to work. He felt like crying all over again. He must have had some sad sort of look on his face, because Stinky seemed to change his mind.

"Fine, Sid, I'll stay. But you don't try anything funny-like. I reckon I've gotta be insane..." Stinky muttered.

"You know what you're saying by that?"

"Dammit, do you want me to take it back?" Stinky sounded flustered.

"No," Sid said. I just want to kiss you again, he thought.

They stayed standing there until the sun had started to set. Sid was thinking about what this would mean, and what would come of it. What _would_ they do whey they got back? Were they just going to spend the whole summer in that stupid proto-stage, always unsure and fluttering and timid? Then he thought about what Stinky had to be thinking about until all he could imagine was just being with him, and nothing else. All other worries had gone from his mind.

"We're both right fools. Let's go inside," Stinky said in a surprisingly light-hearted voice.

"Yep," Sid said.

He shyly took Stinky's hand as they walked back inside.

–

I am a little bit unsure of this one :/ OH WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I ACTUALLY COULD WRITE ANYTHING BETTER. Things are moving a little fast, but I'm more of a short story writer than a long fricken novel. I'm pretty sure this will finish under double digits.

Anyways, muchas gracias to One Fine Wire for reviewing each chapter and also to little red riding creeper for not making me feel so alooooooone.


	5. Chapter 5

"So... what about this?" Sid asked, leaning over the bed and handing the bong to Stinky.

"About what?" Stinky asked before taking a hit.

"Us, and everything, and the universe!" Sid waved his hands around.

"I don' know what you're expectin' to git out of this, Sid. You know, I go along with you all tha time, and you've always got some crazy idea in your head and you're so... paranoid about everything. Ya worry all the time. Ya worry about yerself and what people think of you and what you do and what you say and ya need to relax."

"That's what I'm doing right now, Stink-o," Sid said.

"Are you gonna do this yer whole life? Are you gonna be a pothead and a drinker and a druggie? I know you're gettin' into harder stuff, Sid. When are you gonna grow up? Not everyone's judging you, or raggin' on you all the time. Relax, without any of all this dumb stuff," Stinky was always more eloquent high.

"Not everyone's as relaxed as you. No one just goes with the flow," Sid rolled back over and pulled the quilt over his head.

The bong was put down. Stinky climbed up on the bed and laid down next to Sid. He reached one rough hand over and pulled the quilt away from Sid, exposing his face. Sid shielded his eyes and averted his face. He didn't want Stinky to see the tears leaking out from between his tightly shut eyes.

"Whatchu cryin' about?" Stinky asked, pulling Sid's hand away.

"You don't need to remind me I'm a fuckin' screw up!" Sid sat up and stared firmly at the wall. "I know I'm a bad kid and I'm draggin' you and Harold down."

"Harold's been down a long time."

"Whatever."

Stinky sat up too and put his arm around Sid. Sid swallowed a lump in his throat, then tentatively gripped the arm around him with his hands. He wasn't going to go and right out cry. He hadn't done that since he was little. He wasn't going to fucking cry over feeling sorry for himself.

Sid took a deep breath and calmed himself down, but that was useless, because Stinky laid his head in the crook of Sid's neck, which caused his heart to race. Both boys sat there like that for a while, quietly thinking and contemplating things. Sid could feel Stinky's heart beating against his back.

Sid let go of Stinky's arm after a long while. That act had comforted him slightly, and he appreciated how sometimes, Stinky would just listen. Stinky sat up straight and watched Sid, waiting for him to do something. Sid just turned off the lamp, threw off his shirt and pants, and laid down in bed. He was tired. Stinky took of his shirt before laying down, leaving his jeans on.

They both laid in bed, listening to the insects outside and to each other breathing.

Sid never remembered falling asleep, but he must have, because when he woke up, he was drooling on Stinky's arm and the morning sun was breaking in through the window. Sid wiped the spit off his cheek and realized Stinky's other arm was over him. He kinda liked that. It was nice to wake up next to someone, wake up next to someone who wanted to see your face.

Stinky stirred, then opened his eyes and yawned, "Mornin'."

"Morning," Sid replied.

After a second of hesitation, Sid leaned in and kissed Stinky quickly. He kept it short and sweet. Stinky tensed up, so Sid pulled back. Stinky was red faced and staring at the wall past Sid. Sid frowned and sat up.

"It's just a little weird," Stinky said quietly.

Sid shrugged and hopped off the bed. He stretched until all the tension was gone from his back. Stinky rolled over onto his back and laid with both his hands behind his head. Sid walked over to the window and looked outside: it was a brightly lit day, and he could already feel the heat of the world outside in the tiny, little attic bedroom.

He walked back over to the bed and picked up his pants from the floor, searching for his carton of cigarettes, until he remembered that he couldn't find them yesterday. So Sid just plopped down on the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

"So what are we going to do today?" Sid asked.

"Besides the chores we've been neglectin'?"

"Yeah, besides those," Sid sighed when he realized he had been slacking off on chores.

"We need to go an' buy food. I'm starvin' over here," Stinky said.

"Okay. Let's have some breakfast and do chores and stuff and then we can go and buy food," Sid said.

He got up again, then headed for the bathroom. As he got the shower started, he thought back on the past few days. Holy shit! Had he really only been here for a few days? It seemed like he had always been here, and always been this way with his friend, even though he knew it really had been only a few tender hours.

His heart started to pound in his chest when he really thought about things. He had kissed his best friend. He had been kissed by his best friend. They had held hands, they had fallen asleep together. These were things people would normally do with a girl, things that people would get satisfaction from doing with a girl. But of course, he had to be different. He was Sid.

He was always the odd one, the one who was never quite in with the crowd, the one who was always off doing dumb things with his off-beat friends. Sid figured it would end up being him, the guy who couldn't like girls, the... the gay kid. He shuddered even thinking about it.

Sid couldn't let anybody know. He wouldn't let anybody know. Even if it killed him, what happened here this summer was going to stay here. He would personally ensure that Stinky kept his mouth shut.

Sid took his shower, then dried himself off and put on some fresh clothes. When he walked downstairs, there was a plate of scrambled eggs sitting there for him. He peeked out the kitchen window. Stinky was already hard at work in the garden, pulling weeds. Sid watched him for a while, then sat down and had his eggs. They were delicious.

"We need these chips," Sid said.

"No we don't," Stinky pulled the bag out of the cart and put it back on the shelf.

"All we have is healthy crap, like potatoes and stuff!" Sid grabbed the chip bag again and threw it in the cart.

"So? You know I can make mean mashed taters,"

"That's true... but goddammit I want these chips, so we're buying them," Sid said firmly.

"You're making us sound like an ol' married couple, for Pete's sake," Stinky rolled his eyes and walked out of the snack aisle.

This sobered Sid up. He walked quietly beside Stinky, cringing each time a granola bar box went in the shopping basket instead of pop tarts. At the check out lane he tried to sneak a few snickers bars in, but Stinky snatched them right back out.

"There? Was that so bad?" Stinky asked as he loaded the paper sacks into the back of his pick up.

"Yes, people were staring at us," Sid said.

"Only because you was throwin' a fit over chips," Stinky just laughed at that.

"What am I going to eat?"

"Um, real food?"

"Real food sucks," Sid rolled his eyes but got in the car.

"Yeah, you're going to be saying that when you're having my mashed taters," Stinky said, getting in the drivers side and coaxing the old truck to start.

"A man cannot live on potatoes alone,"

"I reckon you're a right riot," Stinky said in a bemused voice.

He backed out of the parking space and then drove out of the supermarket's lot and onto the main road. Sid was a little nervous and had a headache, he still hadn't found his cigarettes. He knew Stinky had hidden his stash. Damn him. But then he wondered, was he really addicted? If he was getting jittery and anxious since he hadn't had a smoke? He never meant to get addicted. He couldn't be. Then he'd be an even worse off kid, addicted to cigarettes at 17. He'd never be able to hide it from his dad then.

Sid felt a hand over his. He looked over and saw that Stinky had placed his hand on top of Sid's. Sid glanced over at Stinky―he was completely intent on driving―then looked back out the window, and smiled a little to himself. Maybe he could go a little bit longer without a cigarette.

The sun was high in the sky, the road was a shimmering mirage. Cars swam in the distance. The smell of the baked earth and grass poured itself through the open window. It was the smell of summer, and it had only just begun. Sid wished the truck had air conditioning, as the only relief from the heat was the turgid breeze that puffed across his face occasionally, coming in through the window.

"We should go swimming or something," Sid said, wiping sweat off his face with his hand.

"Where? In that dinky little crick? You'll get leeches," Stinky laughed.

"No way! I'm totally going swimming," Sid said. He crossed his arms in a huff, forgetting that Stinky's hand had been over his.

"Okay, fine, I'll go, but only on accounta I wanna see you covered in leeches. So I can laugh."

"I'm not gonna get covered in leeches."

"I can't believe I'm covered in leeches."

"I tole ya," Stinky was laughing as he pulled another leech off Sid's back.

Sid whimpered, then covered his eyes with his forearm. He had leeches all over his front and back, as well as his legs. Stinky was getting the leeches off his back, while he had pulled off all the ones on his leg and front. The bites were still bleeding and Sid was miserable, in addition to being hot.

"There," Stinky said, "no more leeches. Now are you gonna listen to me when I tell you things?"

"Probably not. When you mention leeches, maybe."

"You're a fool," Stinky said. "I can't believe you still scream like a girl."

"Shut up!" Sid got up and realized how silly he looked, standing there covered in blood and only wearing wet boxer shorts. He probably was a fool. "I'm all hot now. Let's go back to the house. And I figured out what I'm going to say to my dad to explain you being here."

"What's that?" Stinky asked as the two of them walked together.

Sid was carrying his clothes in his hand, careful not to get blood all over them. In his other hand he held his boots, which were sadly scuffed and mucked up beyond repair. Stinky was wiping his hands on his jeans, trying to get the mud, blood, and water off them. He crunched easily through the dry grass, while Sid hobbled along in bare feet.

"That I asked you to come up here, so you could, ow, take me to the grocery store to buy shit."

"That's an outright sad lie there, Sid," Stinky said.

"That I called you to, ouch, come and hang out for the day and you could only do it today?"

"Lame."

"That you're dropping off some, ow, school work?"

"It's summer time, Sid."

"That we're secret, passionate lovers and I constantly need you by my side or I will, dammit, ow, drown my sorrows in liquor and cocaine?"

"Maybe you should quit while you're ahead."

"Yeah, are we nearly home or what? I think I'm gonna pass out from blood loss," Sid walked a little closer to Stinky just in case he keeled over right then and there.

"Yup, there's the house there," Stinky pointed to the horizon.

Sid nearly fainted when he saw how far away the house was. He was too miserable to complain much more, though, so he remained silent and sullen for the rest of the walk.

When the got to the house, Sid ran upstairs to the bathroom and conducted a thorough check to make sure there were no leeches in any sensitive spots. He was never going swimming again.

–

Another part, woot woot.

Thank you for all your reviews, they make me happy because I was so nervous about posting a story that featured this pairing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sid sighed and gave the bedroom a once over. Sid had sent Stinky to spend the day in town. Stinky just hoped he came across Holly, so he had something to do. Sid had hidden his suitcases and, in the process of doing so, had come across his stash suitcase lodged behind a trunk in the corner of the room. All three suitcases were currently stuffed in the closet and hidden behind great coats.

When he was satisfied that nothing was out of place or suspicious in the room, Sid shut all the windows. He had been airing out the whole house, since he was _sure_ it smelled faintly like cigarettes and pot. Once downstairs, Sid glanced out the window frequently, keeping his eye out for his father's Cutlass.

Around an hour later, it announced its presence, startling Sid awake from a fitful nap with its loud engine. Sid sat straight up and quickly checked himself―did he smell like smoke? No. He was good. He hadn't had a cigarette today, as much as that killed him. He went outside and waited on the porch.

His father killed the engine and got out. Sid gave him a half-hearted wave.

"So how's it been, Sid?" his father asked.

"Fine. Really boring, you know, being here all by myself," Sid said, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"You have enough food? How are the horses?"

"Yeah and they're fine. I just give 'em food and stuff," Sid said.

"Okay, here, here's $200, for food. There's a bus stop, up a ways, that'll take you to the nearest town," his father said.

"That's fine, I don't need it," Sid said, keeping his hands in his pocket in a refusal to take the money.

"You need to eat, Sid, what are you going to do? Not eat?" his father asked.

Sid swallowed and guilty took the money, jamming it deep down inside his pocket like he could forget about it. $200 was a lot of money. That was the phone bill and the electricity and the water. That was 2 weeks of food for the both of them. That was a weeks worth of work from his dad. It was a lot of money.

They then spent an hour holding a jilted conversation. Sid was mostly sullen and gave monosyllabic answers. After a length of time, his father decided it would be a good idea to take his son out to lunch, so they spent another hour in a dim restaurant exchanging stunted sentences.

Sid felt self-concious the whole time. He felt as if his father's eyes could see everything he had done, every illegal hit, shot, and drag he had ever taken. Boy howdy, could he have gone for a cigarette. Sid's hands were nervous and fluttering under the table, with fingers scrabbling over fingers and palms rubbing against palms. He was glad when they both left.

As they were walking back to the car, they passed a man leaning against the wall and having a cigarette. Sid looked away; he even held his breath.

"You ever smoke, son?" his father asked once they had passed the man.

Sid felt frozen in place, even though he kept walking forward. Maybe, it would be better to not lie. No. Never. He would get his ass kicked. A little lie. A lie with a small amount of truth would be better than a lie so large it could never pass as true.

"Oh, one or two, y'know... I didn't really like it. Made me cough too much and shit," Sid said.

Sid felt his dad's eyes flick over him, as if they were trying to discern the truth of that statement. But his father merely said, "Good. Don't get started doing that, boy."

He breathed a quiet sigh of relief and hoped that that was the only question his father asked him. Sid was on edge the whole time he rode in the car, he kept running his hands up and down the seatbelt nervously. Guilt was bubbling in the very seat of him. His dad wasn't born yesterday. He knew what kind of things his son was out doing, so why did he only ask about smoking? Did he think that would elicit more of any answer than straight out asking about something like, say, drinking?

Sid was more nervous now than he was when his father got here. He tried his best to put up his normal, disinterested teenage front, but he wasn't quite sure how that was working out. Every look from his father seared; it branded him in his heart and made it flutter.

He took a deep breath and went in the house with his father. They sat in the living room for a long while, with Sid's father watching TV. Sid started at the small, snow filled screen, as so he could discern what his father was watching, but it was anyone's guess. He didn't know and he had a sneaking suspicion his father didn't know either.

Finally, his father spoke, "It's getting late. I should go. Show me the house, before I leave."

Sid showed his father the garden and the horses, answering any question his father bombarded him with a suitable answer (even if it meant lying). When his father was satisfied that Sid was doing a good and faithful job maintaining the farm, he gave Sid an awkward handshake and departed.

Sid sighed with relief, then had a well deserved cigarette.

When he was done, he walked up to the bedroom and turned the light on. That was his signal to Stinky that it was safe to come home. Bedroom light on, it was all right, come home. If the kitchen light was on, it wasn't safe, stay out of the house. Sid poured himself a tumbler of whiskey, then went downstairs to mix it with more coca cola.

He hated beer. He hated the way it tasted on his tongue and its sickly sweet smell and the way he had to force down gulp after gulp just to get buzzed. Of course, he drank it with Harold all the time because that was Harold's go-to drink, but it wasn't until he had been introduced to finer liquor at one of Wellington-Lloyd's parties did he consider a serious love affair with alcohol. Stinky liked beer too, now that he thought about it. Was he the only one here with any taste?

Sid sat down on the couch and continued to stare at the fuzzy image until the door opened. He jumped, but relaxed when he realized it was only Stinky.

"Oh, it's about time, dear, I was worried sick about you," Sid said mockingly with a lisp.

"I was only out drinking with the boys, darlin'," Stinky went along with it. "Naw, really. I met up with Harold, and he bought us some Bud," Stinky held up a case of Budweiser.

"What? No Jack for me? No Absolut or Cap'n?" Sid frowned.

"Harold got _me_ some Bud. He got you jack squat, you buddin' alcoholic."

"Please, I'm a lush," Sid fluttered his eyes. "Well, stick it in the fridge and if I'm desperate... I am getting' kinda low on liquor though," Sid mused.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Stinky said.

Sid rolled his eyes and finished his glass of Jack and coke. He shut off the TV, then took the glass to the kitchen and rinsed it out. He poked around in the fridge, mildly hungry.

"Hey, Stink, you gonna make me your orgasmic potatoes or what?" he called out.

"Is it dinner time? Golly, yeah. Awright. I make you dinner tonight, you make it tomorrow," Stinky came into the kitchen rubbing his hands on his jeans.

"If you don't mind cheese sandwiches,"

"Hot damn, I love them. Now scoot. I need my room," Stinky already had some potatoes out on the counter.

Sid got a soda from the fridge and sat down. He watched Stinky grab a knife from the drawer and deftly peel the skin from the potatoes. His hands were rough, Sid thought. Dry skin crackled on his palms and his nails were hemmed in by thick, peeling cuticles. But they were sure. The knife blade came dangerously close to Stinky's fingers, but never nicked the skin.

The potatoes leapt out of their skins and were soon boiling away in a pot of water. Stinky was now chopping up some chicken and then it was cooking in a skillet while some string beans were steaming above the boiling potatoes. Sid never knew Stinky had such a talent for cooking. If it was Sid who was cooking the meal, it would have been an hour and he would only have peeled one potato.

In no time, it seemed like, a plate of food was sitting in front of Sid. And it smelled delicious. Sid looked up as Stinky sat down across from him at the table. Sid grabbed the fork and attacked the potatoes. They were great; they melted in his mouth and were lightly buttery with undertones of garlic. When the pile of mashed potatoes was gone, Sid devoured the chicken and finally the string beans.

"Wow, can't you cook every night?" Sid asked, pushing his empty plate back.

He hadn't eaten so much in a long time, and it nearly made him sick. Sid glanced at his rail thin arms. He could stand to put on a few pounds (maybe he was so skinny because his main food groups were cigarettes and alcohol). But he could definitely gain some weight if he ate like this every day.

"Because it's a pain. You cook tomorrow. You didn't drag me up here so I could cook you dinner every night."

"But it was so good!" Sid dragged out the word "good" as he laid his head on the table.

"You flatter me," Stinky said dryly.

"It's because I love you, darling," Sid said sarcastically.

That night after doing chores, when both boys were showered and scrubbed clean, Sid laid back in bed. Stinky had just gotten out of the shower and was currently towelling his hair dry. Sid was playing with a cigarette, contemplating going out to have a smoke.

Stinky glanced over and brought the towel down, "Aw, Sid, don't go out and do that,"

"What? Why do you care?"

"You're killin' yourself."

"Always have preferred slow methods, as opposed to a neat and quick gunshot," Sid muttered, mostly to himself, but Stinky still caught it.

"Sid! What the hell are you going on about?"

"Nothin'. I'm gonna go and smoke now," Sid hopped up off the bed and nearly sprinted out the door.

Stinky grabbed his arm―did Stinky's whole hand really just fit neatly around his arm?―and stopped Sid from going. Sid looked down at the ground for as long as he could, but finally he glanced up and met Stinky's eyes. He had to look away. They were too intense, too full of life and Sid felt ashamed at how dull he was, how dark his eyes must have been.

"Why are you talkin' about killin' yourself?" Stinky asked, quietly.

"Because I should," Sid said.

Stinky's grip tightened to the point of being painful.

"An' why? Because you think you ain't goin' nowhere? It's only 'cause you're not lettin' yourself get nowhere," Stinky said.

"I'm not going anywhere! Okay, I barely passed junior year, I can't get a job 'cause I got busted for possession, I'm gonna be workin' the same dead end job as my dad, and live in the same fuckin' ghetto I live in now because it's all I can do!"

"Damn, Sid, do you really think you're nothin'? If you keep tellin' yourself this, you're gonna believe it. You're only dragging yourself down by doing all this shit!"

"I'm not gonna do this forever, Stinky, I'm not gonna do it forever," Sid repated.

"Then when are you going to stop? When you think you're getting in too deep? When you think you're too addicted? Of course you'll live in the same fuckin' ghetto, because you'll be spending all your money on crack!"

"I only did that few times," Sid shook his head. "Mickey's crazy, never again with him."

Stinky let go of Sid finally and took a step back. The expression on his face was almost too much for Sid to bear, he had never seen Stinky look so disappointed, or so broken. Stinky was shaking his head.

Sid realized that it was the same look he had seen on his father's face when he left, the same resignation, the last dying wisp of hope. Was Stinky giving up on him? Was his father giving up on him? Was he that far gone?

He backed up and sat on the bed, looking away from Stinky, away from the door as hot tears pricked his eyes. A weight sank the bed next to him, and he felt Stinky's hand on his shoulder. The reality of his behaviour was setting in now. Sid gave up caring what Stinky thought and pulled his friend close in a tight hug.

"When did... I start, start going wrong? Wasn't I just some stupid kid... I can't, when did this, what happened?" Sid whispered disjointedly to Stinky's shoulder.

Stinky's fingers were winding themselves through Sid's long, black hair. He could feel the rough fingertips graze the back of his neck. Stinky's cheek was on his cheek. Sid just let the tears run down his face. What did he care any more? If he could kiss Stinky, he could cry in front of him.

"We grew up. That's what happened," Stinky whispered in his ear.

Sid sighed and put his hand to Stinky's cheek; he stroked it with his thumb. "We grow up and we realize what prices we have to pay for our vices, to experience the throes of love, and the mediocrity of a secure life," Sid said as he pulled back.

"Are you in love with me?" Stinky asked suddenly.

Sid hesitated for a moment before he spoke, "Let me get back to you on that. If I was, it wouldn't change anything. This... whatever the hell we are doing right now, it won't last. It can't last. If I did love you, it wouldn't matter."

Stinky shrugged and muttered something about it making sense. Sid realized that his hands were still playing with his hair, and that sent shivers down his back, now that he was calm enough to think about it. In the wake of all his emotions, Sid was struck by a strange passion. He exhaled slowly and tried to think about other things. Now wasn't the time.

But for once, Stinky was actually perceptive. He leaned in and laid a shy kiss on Sid. Sid let himself be kissed for a while before he decided to take charge and heat things up. He still couldn't get over the fact that he was kissing his best friend... and it was the best thing he had ever done. Sid never felt so... alive.

When Stinky started to pull away, Sid kissed his jawline, travelling up to his ear where a small black stud rested in the lobe. Sid's stomach was doing backflips; he wondered if Stinky could feel the held back energy, the restraint he was putting into the gentle kisses. The hot breath on his neck was driving him crazy, and Sid repressed a shiver when he felt Stinky's lips on his neck. They were rough and chapped, like his hands, but they laid little, unsure butterfly kisses on his skin.

Sid took a deep breath and tried to quell his emotions. When he was a little more confident, he started to kiss Stinky's neck, feeling strange knowing that not that long ago, a girl's lips had probably done the same thing, had maybe elicited the same pleasure.

He invariably thought back to Nina, how she was rough and pleading and begging, all at the same time, and how he couldn't return any of the same passion or force or desire. But here all three were present in droves, everything was such a whirlwind, which made Sid think he knew why people did this. They did it for the thrill, for the connection, for the emotions. The intimate touch of someone who cared was like nothing he had experienced, it made him shiver, it made him want to make a sound.

Sid pulled away and looked at Stinky: his face was flushed and he had a strange look in his eyes. Sid was reminded of Nina again, it was the same look she had in her eyes when she pushed him on the bed. Sid shied away at that look, he hid his face in Stinky's shoulder.

Familiar hands were on his bare back. Sid still shivered as skin touched skin, but he took a wavering breath and laid down. Stinky was quiet for a long time. Sid figured he probably had a lot of thoughts running through his head. He did say that he wasn't sure about things. Those hands felt sure, Sid thought. He figured he shouldn't push things. And besides, falling asleep in Stinky's arms was good enough for him today; he was exhausted.

–

Wow, I can write nearly 3k words for this story, but I can't bring myself to write 800 for a paper? Ha, funny how that works out. I've put off so much work, it's not even funny. It's 11pm and I've got a bunch of French homework to do. LOL.

So total purple prose for the ghei. It's a little lime-ish, but I don't want to go full-blow slash in this story, because, I guess it makes me feel weird, since I still see Sid and Stinky as 9 year olds. And I'm trying to walk the fine line between sweet, unsure summer romance and just plain smut.

The angst for this story almost writes itself, I know it's like the same "Waaah, I'm a screw up and a 17 year old budding junkie" thing over and over again. I'm sorry ):

N-E-WAIS. Omg, I have now experienced the review joy that comes with having a sequential story. I never knew this existed! QwQ it makes me happy. Thank you so much for reviewing and I really enjoy your reviews, One Fine Wire!

PS: Brokeback Mountain is one of my favourite movies.

PPS: I obviously talk a lot more when I'm really tired and procrastinating on doing course work.


	7. Chapter 7

The heat woke Sid the next morning. He was sweating and sticky already. It was official: summer was in full swing. Sid sat up and stretched, looking around for Stinky, but he wasn't there. Shrugging, Sid laid back down on the bed. His hair clung to his damp back.

He thought about last night's confrontation, it was still weighing heavy on his mind. Why was he even doing things like that? Because it... did he think he was cool? Maybe at first, when he was 13 and smoking a blunt across the street from school behind the gas station's dumpster with Stinky, then going to class high. That was the only time he had ever felt guilty.

Sid remembered the look on Arnold's face in class... God, that kid! They didn't even talk, not then, not now. But that look of shock and disappointment had quaked him in his quick. He remembered walking home, coasting down off his high, half giddy with excitement that he had _managed_ to get away with it right under four teacher's noses, while the other half of him kept remembering Arnold's face, the look in his eyes, why?

He let out a long breath, causing some stray hairs to flutter upwards. He had become so numb, rolling a joint or getting drunk in his room didn't mean anything, any more. It was just part of his day, something he did. Maybe it was even a habit.

What the hell was he even going to do with his life? He couldn't go to college without good grades, which he didn't have. Sid couldn't even remember if he had to try to get good grades or if they came naturally, it had been so long. He would have to clean up to get a job.

Sid thought about the Minolta sitting and gathering dust on the shelf in his room. Had he once liked photography? He must have, he remembered being so excited the day he had got it. Did he get it for his birthday or for Christmas? It must have been his birthday. Christmases were miserable.

Yes, he remembered. He got it for his 13th birthday. Sid remembered how he was disappointed, he thought that it would be another birthday where he didn't get much of anything, but he had gone to bed, and there was the Minolta sitting on his pillow, with three boxes of film. He was so fucking excited.

Sid licked his lips, then reached across the bed and picked up the phone, "Hey Dad. Hey, it's me, Sid. Yeah. You said that I was so ungrateful, that I never used that camera? You said I was a lot of things, I heard you on the phone when you told Mom. Don't try and tell me different, I heard. But I'm not gonna be those things any more. I don't want to be. It's not gonna be right away, but things'll change―"

"Who are you talkin' to, Sid?"

_If you wish to make a call, please hang up and dial again..._

"No one," Sid said hastily. "I was just thinkin' about callin' Harold to see if he could go and bring my camera up. I wanna take some pictures."

Stinky leaned against the door frame, "You haven't taken pictures in years," he said.

"I know," Sid got up and stretched, "I'm feeling the creative stuff and all that shit."

Stinky chuckled a little, then walked in the room and picked up some clothes off the floor, giving them a sniff check.

"Hey, I'll do laundry if you go back to my house and get my camera!" Sid said brightly.

"Willikers, do ya even know how to do laundry?" Stinky asked, pulling off the wife beater he was wearing and slipping on a t-shirt.

"Yeah, it's not rocket science. And how do you think I get all my clothes past my dad?"

"Dammit, I think it's rocket science," Sid muttered to himself, pushing his sweat-soaked hair out of his face in frustration.

He looked at the assortment of boxes and bottles his grandmother had stacked above the washer. Borax, what the hell was that? There was some Cheer, some Clorox, and some stain treatments. Sid swallowed and took down the bottle of Cheer. That looked like regular detergent. He associated Clorox with bleach, and he didn't know what that other stuff was meant to do.

Sid poured a good amount of Cheer into the washer, then spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When the washing machine roared to life, Sid stepped back, relieved. He just hoped that the clothes came out clean and not bleached into oblivion.

So Sid sat out on the porch for a while, smoking. It was still dangerously hot out. Sid figured he'd just sit around with no shirt on, since he was out in the middle of nowhere, there wasn't anybody around to see him. He picked absently at a few scabs on his arm, then smoked his last cigarette (dammit, bad idea, he was feeling nauseous now), and headed inside to wash his hands before he handled laundry.

He nervously peeked inside the washing machine and saw that his clothes were fine. The clothes were then piled haphazardly into a plastic bin and lugged outside to be hung on the clothes line in the bright sunshine. Sid felt witheringly domestic, and he was glad that no one could see him.

By the time he had washed and hung up Stinky's laundry, his friend had returned. The camera was produced. Sid kissed Stinky's cheek in thanks, then spent the next hour getting reacquainted with his camera. The first few pictures he took were of Stinky.

"You're dang wastin' your film, Sid. I don't take good pictures," Stinky said.

"I'm not lookin' to take good pictures. I just want to fuck around with the camera before I try taking good ones," Sid reassured him.

Sid realized that Stinky wasn't lying, he really did not photograph well. Most of the time his smile was too forced, and he looked all of the gangling, big eared, six foot man he was. But Sid caught one he thought would turn out fantastic.

Stinky wasn't looking at the camera, since he didn't think he was getting photographed at that time. He was instead staring pensively out the window, his hands were clasped and his forearms rested on his thighs. The light was hitting him just right, casting some great shadows. Sid was glad he caught it, because not a second later, Stinky turned and brightly asked when Sid was taking another picture.

"In just a second," Sid said quietly, watching as Stinky tried out another forced pose.

Eventually, Sid had spent a roll of film on Stinky. He then thought it would be prudent not to spend the rest on him, and instead try to get some pictures outside, as the sun was starting to set. So he trooped outside with Stinky, stopping often to snap shots of anything he thought interesting. He would go to town tomorrow and buy more film.

Sid hadn't felt this good in, well, he didn't remember the last time he felt this way. He felt like he was doing something productive, something that _really_ helped him, instead of just making him feel good for a short, fleeting while. He could look back on these photos and be proud of them; he could make a career out of taking photographs...

"I haven't seen you look this awake for a long time," Stinky said as Sid snapped a shot of a bird resting on a branch.

"Yeah, I guess I forgot how much I loved taking photos," Sid shrugged. "Let's go into town tomorrow to get these developed and see how they turn out."

"Sure," Stinky said. "As long as you don' make me buy you cigarettes."

"No... I just want to buy film," Sid said. He didn't mention it was because he still had two more cartons in his suitcase. "Let's head back now, it's getting dark."

Sid walked besides Stinky for a while before he reached out and took his friend's hand. He still marvelled at how such a simple act could give him shivers or how it could make him feel like he was floating. Sid glanced up at Stinky: there was a small smile playing on his lips; he looked content.

Sid realized that he felt content too.

–

Here is a small little update before I dash off to catch the bus for my ART CLASS FROM HELL. Curse you, internet and multiple tabs for shortening my attention span to that of 15 minutes, so a 2 hour long class is like torture :

My weekends are starting to get busy now, so there updates will probably slow down a lot, but I really want to finish this story. I've never had this this much motivation to finish a story before!

And I will probably write like 133,223,929 more Sidinky stories.


	8. Chapter 8

He woke up to the sound of fireworks. It startled Sid awake and he nearly would have rolled off the bed if Stinky hadn't been a barrier. Sid rubbed his head and groggily remembered that it was the 4th of July. He looked over at Stinky, who was still sound asleep. That kid could sleep through anything.

Sid sat up and pulled his knees up, then encircled them with his arms. He laid his head down and wished he could fall back asleep, but his heart was racing too fast. So he watched Stinky sleep for a while. He watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically with each breath and he smiled a little at the peaceful expression Stinky wore.

Finally, Sid got up and threw on an old t-shirt, then went to go take care of the horses. Normally, his grandma would have people ride them in the parade, but that wasn't going to happen this year. He was just keeping them in the barn, because he didn't want anything to happen to them if they spooked from the loud noises of the fireworks. Sid didn't even know if he wanted to go to the parade. It was just a bunch of sitting in the hot sun watching girl scouts and fire trucks go by.

After some deliberation, Sid saddled up the old horse he had ridden many times before and took off for a ride. He was sure that this horse was placid enough to deal with the sudden bangs. He was going to be miserably sore when he got back, but it felt good to ride. He wished that he had been able to take more riding lessons.

But he shouldn't dwell on the past. He couldn't change it, so why worry about it? All he had to worry about was the future. Things were starting to look up. He was feeling better. His mind was clearer. So maybe he still drank and did pot, but he felt like he had a grip on it. Maybe he would even quit smoking... sometime. But right now, he didn't feel like any of that stuff had control over him. It could very well still control him, yet he was still feeling in control... he wouldn't worry about it right now. Today was going to be a good day, he could tell.

Sid rode back to the house and took care of the old horse, then walked whistling into the kitchen. He made a breakfast of French toast for the both of them. Stinky came downstairs just as Sid was washing off his plate.

"You're in a good mood," Stinky commented, sitting down at the table.

Sid shrugged, "I just feel like it'll be a good day. Do you want to go to the parade?"

"Nah. Maybe we should jus' go to the carnival," Stinky said with his mouth full.

"Sure, sounds good," Sid said.

That afternoon, the two got in Stinky's truck and headed to town. The carnival was set up in the town's square. It was already crowded, full of teenagers and families with crying kids. Sid's first thought was that he wished he was drunk, but he pushed that thought out of his head. He was here with Stinky. The loud kids would go home soon. No one here knew him. It was okay.

"Let's go on that," Stinky pointed to the scariest looking ride he saw.

Sid followed the line of his finger. It was a ride that consisted of a giant conveyor belt with little cars that spun around mercilessly as the conveyor belt moved.

"Looks like a good way to throw up," Sid muttered, but Stinky was already halfway to the ride.

It was hard to see inside the car (it was completely enclosed in mesh), so Sid wound his arm around Stinky's and gripped the safety bar as hard as he could. The ride started.

"This isn't so bad," Sid started to say, but the ride picked up speed, and they were spun violently around in circles, round and round, until the sky and ground were one big teal streak. "I think I'm gonna puke."

Stinky was laughing and having a grand time. Sid only thought about one thing: keeping his lunch where it belonged. When the ride finally slowed down and the two were allowed off, Stinky was still laughing. Sid was sure he was a nice shade of green. He had no idea which way was up, the world was still rotating.

"I am not getting on that again," Sid stumbled around until Stinky caught him and held him upright.

"Really? That was a barrel o' fun," Stinky said laughingly.

"You're lucky I didn't spew all over you," Sid muttered.

"Fine, let's go on sommin' different," Stinky said.

They spent the next few hours riding rides and heckling annoying teenagers. Sid regained his appetite enough to enjoy the carnival food, even though it made him feel sick all over again. Finally, the fun of the carnival had been exhausted, and the two decided to go back home.

Sid held Stinky's hand most of the car ride back. He wondered what things would be like once they got back home. How would he be able to see Stinky in the same eyes as before, knowing how they were, and what they could have been?

Stinky must have noticed Sid gripping his hand tighter, or maybe he even noticed the worried look on Sid's face, because once the two were home, Stinky gave Sid a quick, sweet kiss. Sid, however, pushed him away. Stinky looked confused.

"What's it, Sid? Do ah have corndog breath?"

"No," Sid shrugged. "Nothin' Stinko. I'm gonna go smoke."

Sid's stomach flipped when he saw the corner's of Stinky's mouth pull into a frown, but he fished his pack of Camels out of his pocket anyway. A few seconds later, he was outside taking a drag and instantly felt better. Sid breathed out a cloud of smoke and anxieties.

"I wanna see what's so great about these things," Stinky said suddenly, startling Sid.

Sid looked behind him and saw Stinky standing there. Stinky sat next to Sid on the steps. Sid silently handed him the pack and his lighter. Stinky plucked an orange tipped stick from the box and stuck it between his lips. He flicked the lighter for about a minute before he managed to get his cigarette lit. He took a drag and Sid watched, waiting to see what would happen.

"Damn," Stinky screwed up his face as he accidentally blew smoke out his nose, "you like smokin'?"

"Well, I do it all the damn time," Sid said.

"I thought maybe you was addicted," Stinky didn't take another drag on his cigarette.

Sid flicked ash off his own cigarette and watched the little, white flakes drift down. He brushed off the ones that landed on his jeans. "I dunno, I don't hafta smoke. I don't hafta do it, if I can't do it I don't get cranky or anything. I'm not addicted," Sid said nervously. It came out sounding more like he was trying to convince himself.

"It's a bad habit, Sid," Stinky said, and tentatively tried taking another drag.

"Yet here you are," Sid said.

Stinky just shrugged. Sid finished his cigarette and was tempted to light another, but he stopped himself. He had just said he wasn't addicted, so what was not smoking one cigarette? Stinky snubbed his half smoked cigarette on the ground. Sid got up and so did Stinky.

There was a valley between them, a disconnect, something that Sid felt he could not breech. He had created it when he pushed his friend away. Sid took a deep, wavering breath.

"Why are you doing this, Stinky? Why are you staying here with me? Being like this with me?" Sid asked.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because... I don't know! Fucking... it just does, okay? I want to know," Sid spluttered.

"You're just gonna make a big deal outta nothin' if I tell you," Stinky said.

"No, I won't," Sid promised.

"Fine, then, Sid. I'll tell ya. I just plain don' know. I can't say why I'm doin' it because I don' know," Stinky said. "At least you know why you're doin' it, but I don't."

"I don't fuckin' know either! I... I don't want to be a faggot, okay? You think that I'm happy about it?"

Stinky didn't say anything. He just stared pensively at the door handle like it was something interesting. Sid threw his hands up and kicked the banister a few times before lighting another cigarette.

"And don't fucking say smoking another cigarette will solve my fucking problems!" Sid practically shouted.

"Jesus, Sid," Stinky shook his head and walked inside.

Sid pursed his lips together and paced around the front porch for around five minutes before he got the courage to shout at the house, "Well, fuck you!" Then he kept pacing until he was struck by the thought that maybe Stinky was going to leave. Maybe he was upstairs packing right now and he was going to drive back to Hillwood and then Sid would be stuck at the house alone for the rest of the summer without a best friend!

So Sid burst inside, throwing the door open and letting it slam into the wall. Stinky jumped and sloshed his beer down his front. He gave Sid an awful glare.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Stinky drawled.

"Oh, good, you're not leaving!" Sid said brightly. "I was worried that I had pissed you off and you were going to leave me here all alone," he trailed off.

"Of course you pissed me off, ya bastard!" Stinky had gotten up and was walking to the kitchen now, presumably to try and clean himself up. "Jesus, don't you ever think about summ' on' beside you?"

"...yeah, duh! Boy howdy, you think I don't care about other people?"

"You shure do think about yourself a lot," Stinky said.

Sid watched him pull off his shirt and stuff it in the sink, which was filled with water. Those words were true, Sid knew, but it still hurt him. He licked his dry lips and finally answered Stinky's statement.

"When I show other people I care, it just gets thrown back at me," Sid muttered. "So why bother? Why bother at all if I'll just get hurt?" his voice grew louder and slightly hysterical.

"So because you got hurt once or twice you're goin' to be an asshole now? I reckon that's fucked up, Sid," Stinky shook his head.

"Not once or twice, like every day of my goddamn life! I'm Sid the freak, Sid the crazy kid, the pyscho, the bipolar nutjob! Sid the stoner, Sid the druggie, Sid the bad fuckin' influence!"

"What does that even―?"

"They were my friends! Kids I trusted, people I looked up to, my own fucking... mother," Sid's shoulders sagged.

"Your ma?"

"Yeah, my 'ma,' Stinky. You know what she said when I got busted? 'I can't believe you raised him like this, Ray! You turned my son into a low-life drug addict!'" Sid had turned away from Stinky.

"She didn' say that to your face," Stinky's voice was quieter, with a sad note in it.

"No. I would have cunt punted that bitch if she did," Sid said under his breath.

"Christ, I can' believe you, Sid," Stinky sounded taken aback. He must have heard what Sid had said.

Sid just shook his head. He felt worn out and ill, like he had just thrown up. Stinky didn't get it. He didn't get it at all. Sid was just about ready to get acquainted with some of his old friends, Jack and Mary Jane, when he felt Stinky's arms around him.

"'M sorry," Stinky mumbled.

"Why? I should be apologizin'," Sid said, "sorry."

Sid turned so he was facing his friend and captured his mouth in a kiss. This one was, at the same time, sadder and sweeter than any kiss he had had before. It was as if both of them knew that their relationship, whatever it should be called, wasn't ready to be so intimate. It couldn't handle so many old hurts and scabs divulged and brought out into the bright light. And Sid knew that was what he was composed of entirely, rancid hurt upon hurt upon hurt.

Stinky's heartbeat was right against him. Sid was always scared when he felt someone's heartbeat, because he worried that it would stop. It was a silly fear, but one he still held. Sid wanted to draw back, so he didn't have to feel his friend's heartbeat any more, but he didn't want to break the embrace or break the kiss.

Finally they broke apart. Sid reached up and pushed a lock of brown hair out of Stinky's face. He thought about commenting on Stinky's hair and how long it had gotten, but the silence was comfortable.

He wondered if they'd ever do more than just kiss. Sid hadn't brought it up, because he didn't know how Stinky would take it. Sid didn't even know if he _could_ do things like that with him. Sure, it was different in his head. Actually doing it would be something completely different. He felt nervous just thinking about really doing things like that.

Just kissing his friend was fine for now. Maybe things would be different in the heat of the moment.

–

Wow, I kind of hit a brick wall with this story! Updates probably won't be as fast as the once were. I still want to finish this story so bad, so I'll try my best!

Waaaaaaaaaangst, yay!


	9. Chapter 9

The days passed slowly, time sliding by like the oppressive heat kept it at bay. Sid spent most of his days outside with Stinky. Stinky spent his time studying his old school books; he had always been on the verge of failing out. Sid thought he would help him out, but he found that he didn't really know as much as he thought he did. Had he thrown away that much of his life? Sid was distressed at such a thought.

One day in late July they were sitting on the porch. Sid was smoking a blunt and trying to blow smoke rings while Stinky was idly flipping through a book. There was a ripping sound. Sid looked over and saw that Stinky was ripping pages out of his book. Slowly and methodically, he gripped the page from the top and brought his hand down, letting the page crumple in his palm.

"What're you doin'?" Sid asked.

"Ah give up. I ain't rememberin' none of this shit," Stinky ripped out another page. "Sometimes, Sid, I think you an' me shouldn't be friends. We both... ain't good for each other."

"Well, when this summer's done, you can do whatever you want," Sid mumbled, flicking the end of the blunt into the grass.

"I'm not sayin' that, stupid," a waded up paper ball hit Sid in the head.

Sid tossed the paper ball right back. It wavered in the air and dropped a few inches from Stinky. Stinky just laughed and pelted Sid with more paper balls. Sid never did manage to hit him back. The paper wads always dropped at the last second or veered off to the side.

Stinky was laughing at Sid, but Sid had heard the faint ringing of the phone, so he got up and stumbled inside. He just caught the very end of someone leaving a message on the machine. When he finally made it to the answering machine, he saw that there were three messages, so he played them back.

They were from his father. The first one he couldn't focus enough to listen to, and the second one was a jumbled mess, certain words stretched out longer than they should have been and other ones were compressed too much to understand. But there was a strange note in the tone of his father's voice as it drifted around him. Sid took a few deep breaths and steadied his head, concentrating hard on the voice coming out of the answering machine. The spools holding the tape were mesmerising.

"Sid, it's your father, you need to pick up," there was a pause, a long sigh, and then some muttered curse words. "I'm coming to get you today, the 28th. Your mom... she's in the hospital. There was, uh, something happened. I will tell you what happened when I pick you up. I'll be at the house around 1, and you're coming home ready or not."

The world spun around Sid and he gripped the counter for support. He was feeling really ill. That weed had to have been fucked up. This couldn't be because he was worried sick about his mother.

"Sid?" Stinky's voice broke through the haze and Sid's world fell to pieces.

The haze was gone. He could see clearly now. Everything was bright and sharp. Sid looked around and saw that he was hunched over the sink. He wiped his mouth and shook his head.

"What the fuck's goin' on?" Stinky asked, reaching out and putting a hand on Sid's shoulder.

"My mom's in the hospital. I'm tweaking out, man," Sid rubbed his head and sunk to the floor. "Something's wrong, man."

Stinky got a glass of water and shoved it in Sid's hands. Sid sipped it gingerly, wondering why his heart was racing. He kept seeing his younger self, the self that had lived with his mother, yelling at her, trashing her house, and being a ridiculous brat. The last thing he had said to his mother was, "Fuck you." His family couldn't afford the hospital bill either! What were they going to do? Funerals were expensive... what? Why was he even thinking his mother was going to die?

"Sid, go and pack. I'll go and skedaddle," Stinky said firmly.

"Okay," Sid said.

He heaved himself up and slowly made his way up the stairs after Stinky. Stinky quickly gathered up his things. Sid took a longer time, folding his clothes with military precision. He was waiting, drawing out time until he could be alone. But Stinky wouldn't leave. He was being one of those nice assholes, waiting for Sid to finish packing. Sid watched the clock tick closer to 1 o' clock.

Finally, Stinky shook his head, "Okay, Sid, I'll leave you to do whatever. I'll catch you back in Hillwood."

"See ya," Sid muttered, waiting for the footsteps to fade.

When Sid was absolutely sure that Stinky was gone, or at least not going to burst into the room, Sid went to his suitcase. He fumbled with the latches, then pulled out a smeared plastic baggie and a razor blade. Taking the lamp off the bedside table, Sid dumped the contents of the bag onto the table, finely crushing the substance with the razor until there were several white powder lines on table.

He sat back on his feet and stared at the lines. They were taunting him, begging to be snorted. He was _craving_ them. Sid pulled out his wallet and removed a dollar bill. He rolled it up tight, and convinced he heard a car engine outside (it did not occur to him that it could have been Stinky), snorted up the lines. Then he fell back on the ground and closed his eyes. How was he going to hide this from his father?

Sid sat back up and quickly brushed off the powder on the table. Normally, that would be too valuable to waste, but Sid didn't want to get too high. His father still wasn't here though, and he could still remember all the things that had happened; he could still remember all his nasty thoughts.

So he downed a few mouthfuls of cheap vodka, retching as the liquid numbed his mouth and burned its way down. Sid shook his head like an old, confused dog before shutting his suitcase, sticking the bank note back in his wallet, and stumbling down the stairs with the suitcases coming right behind him.

It was hot and dusty outside. The sun was bright, too bright for Sid. He sat facing away from the sun. His father still wasn't here. What time was it anyway? It couldn't have been that early. Maybe noon. Close to one at least. Time was going so fast!

Sid brought out his pack of cigarettes. He knew he would end up chaining what was left of the pack. He needed to figure out an excuse he could make to his dad, because hell, he would reek. As he blew out plumes of smoke, he thought. Of course he would think of a fantastic lie. He was a great liar. The best in the world. He had the most practice lying of anyone he knew.

He could say he had been smoking them because Stinky... no, wait, he wasn't supposed to be at the house, so that would never work. A friend gave them to him. And he was stressed out. He was worried for his mom. Yeah. Sid figured he would say that.

It seemed that Sid had been sitting on the porch for hours before his dad's Cutlass rolled up the gravel. Sid lurched to his feet and barely managed to get his suitcases hoisted into the trunk. He strolled over to the passenger side and plopped himself in the seat.

"You forgot to shut the trunk," his father said, his voice still holding that same strange note.

"Oh?" Sid laughed, more than he should — shit, he couldn't even keep control of himself — and got out to slam the trunk shut.

They drove off without another word spoken. It wasn't until they were cruising down the express way that Sid realized his father had been talking the whole time. He frantically tried to tune in, but he was still up in the clouds, riding out his high.

"... Aunt Marsha found her just as she swallowed the last pill. She's in coma. She won't wake up, but you need to see her," his father said.

"Coma!" Sid said loudly. He was rocking back and forth. "If that was one more letter, it'd be comma. Aha, isn't that funny? Coma, comma. Comma's... is that mom we're talking about? Is she dead?"

"What the hell are you going on about Sid?" his father shouted, face going red. "Are you fucking high?"

The strong words nearly shocked Sid back to soberness. "Like a kite." Sid imitated an airplane with his hand and made an engine noise.

The car veered off onto the shoulder and two very angry eyes were locked on Sid's. Sid shrank back as much as he could, the panel of the door cutting into his back.

"Your... mother committed suicide and you ARE HIGH?" his father roared. "She was right."

Sid was breathing hard. He had crashed, he was shaking and his hands were crawling up and down his arms like pale spiders. The world was spinning. He wasn't up in the clouds any more. No, he was some place much colder.

Suicide? She committed... suicide?

"Right about what," Sid whispered in a pathetic, broken voice.

"That you are a low-life drug addict! I raised a goddamn junkie!" his father shook his head. "You deserve everything you get, you ungrateful bastard."

Then he harshly shifted the car out of park and slammed on the gas, swerving out into the heavy traffic. The honks barely reached Sid's ears. He was still in shock. Those words had cut deeper than anything ever had before. He couldn't even cry.

Sid didn't even realize that the car had stopped moving until the door was pulled open and a rough hand closed around his stick arm. He was dragged out of the car by his father and marched into the hospital. Sid was trying hard to keep his stomach in his place as strange sights and sounds and smells whirled past him. He could barely keep his eyes open and everything started spinning again. The walls were moving. The walls were moving down and up at the same time in an endless dance and it was all he could do to keep moving his feet forward at pace with his father.

Then they stopped. A chill went over Sid. His father opened the door and thrust him inside. Sid took a deep steadying breath and looked up from the swimming tile pattern. His mother was laying in bed, pale as the sheets she rested on.

He tripped forward and collapsed near her bed. Sid couldn't get up. He literally couldn't. So he laid there, sobbing harder than he had ever sobbed in his life. When his arms stopped shaking and obeyed him again, he pushed himself up to her bedside and rested his head on the knit sheet, still bawling. He kept trying to say "I'm sorry," but that only made him cry harder. His head was going to explode.

"I'm sorry, mama, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, mama, I'm sorry, don't go, mama, don't..." Sid shook and cried and dripped tears down his nose onto his hands which gripped his mom's one frail one.

Sid felt his mom faintly squeeze one of his hands. A shiver ran through him while his stomach twisted into knots. He shuddered and laid his head down again, sobs still racking his body.

–

Hi guys. This one took a bit to get out huh? Took a dark turn huh?

Fluff, not my thing.

I think this is about at the end. One or two more parts and I'll wrap this shindig up. Hopefully with a happy ending.


	10. Chapter 10

Sid didn't go to the funeral. His father didn't have time to deal with him in the wake of all that had transpired, so Sid was given free reign of Hillwood. Nearly. Although he had been forcibly taken to the funeral home, he refused to go inside. His father was too exasperated and emotionally devastated to have much energy to argue, so he left his son on the steps. Sid was still sitting there, chaining cigarettes until he thought he was going to throw up.

People started to flow out of the building; Sid likened them to a black stain. He looked up and briefly met eyes with Stinky, who was with his father, and Harold, who was with his parents. Stinky's gaze was too painful to hold, so Sid dropped his eyes and watched the paper of his cigarette turn brown and black.

Hours later, it seemed like, his father appeared, holding a velvet sack. Sid watched his father talk for several minutes with the man who had followed him outside. They separated with a handshake. Sid's father walked over to him and they stood there for a long while, without talking. Sid waited for his father to say something about him smoking, or to even slap the cigarette out of his hand, but he didn't. Sid took one last drag on the minuscule cigarette before dropping it on the steps and grinding it out with his dress-shoe clad foot.

Sid was about to get in the Cutlass's passenger seat, but the velvet sack was sitting there. He looked at his dad questioningly, but his dad gave him a hard, impassive face. Sid returned the look and slammed the door shut. He was going to have to walk home, or take the bus. Anger was bubbling up in him.

"Fine! Make me walk home because she's still the most important thing in your life when she doesn't even deserve it! Maybe I'll even go buy some crack on the street corner on my way home!" he shouted into the car, before turning on his heel and walking away.

If his father said anything back, Sid didn't hear it over the pounding blood in his ears. He strode down the street at an alarming pace, not even knowing where he was going. He just let his feet take him wherever they wanted. When he looked up again, he saw he was outside Stinky's ridiculously out of place cabin. He sped up, walking quickly past the place. Stinky was something he did not feel like even thinking about today.

When Sid finally made it home, his father was waiting for him.

"We are going to talk, Sidney," he said.

"About what? What's there to talk about?" Sid muttered. "I'll always disappoint you and you'll never be the father I need, the end."

"I don't think you can disappoint me any more than you already have," his father rubbed his wrinkled forehead with his hand.

"I doubt that," Sid was uncomfortable, he had sweat through his shirt and jacket, they were clinging to him and making him itch.

"What else have you done?" his father looked exasperated, like a man dealing with more than any one should bear.

"Why do you deserve to know? You tried to keep me in the dark about mom, and now I'm just giving you the same respect you showed me," Sid spat.

"You were six, a six year old can't understand what separation means, or why people would do that," his father started to say.

"No, but a fourteen year old sure can understand what 'bipolar' means," Sid said coldly.

His father opened his mouth to say something, shut it again, then managed weakly, "How did you know?"

"You think I'm an idiot!" Sid let out one of his high-pitched, exasperated cries. "I know what lithium is for, Jesus Christ! You think I'm some stupid kid mixed up in the wrong shit, and well, I may be in the wrong shit, but I'm not stupid! I turn 18 soon enough, and then you're free of me," Sid muttered, turning his back on his father to go to his room, and ignoring all the shouts of, "You're sure acting stupid," and, "Good riddance!" from him.

Then he went upstairs and scrambled to find something to help him calm down. He found a lot.

When Sid finally woke up again, a headache hit him like a freight train. His whole body ached, and sounds were sharp razors against his ears. The room was unnaturally bright. Sid managed to crawl out of the bathroom and slither over to the blinds, pulling them shut. When his eyes adjusted, he saw something sitting on his bedside table that hadn't been there before.

It was a camera. A Polaroid, to be specific. With heavy footfalls, he walked back to his bed and looked at the camera. When he picked it up, he noticed a picture was under it. Sid blinked and took the photo in his hand. It had been taken with the Polaroid, and it was of him.

The photo was washed out, to the point of nearly being black and white. In the picture, he was laying with his head on the rim of the toilet bowl, passed out. He faintly remembered how sick he had made himself. It was like a dream. Sid could see the paraphernalia littered around him. He could see how sickly he looked: his face was drawn and he was still rail thin. He could see the reflection of Stinky in the mirror, with the camera to his face.

Sid turned the picture over. Written on the back, in Stinky's nearly indecipherable scrawl, were the words: _This is how you are. Are you ever going to change?_

Tears started running down his face. Sid couldn't stop them, they just came. He was miserable. Everything was wrong, everyone was leaving him. He was turning them away. He was one of those people he swore he would never become. He had become what he hated.

At that moment, a strange feeling possessed him. Sid got up, and even though all the tears made it hard for him to see, he went to the bathroom and gathered up all the paraphernalia that was still lying on the ground. He put it all in one of his suitcases, then slammed it shut.

Sid knew he had to act quick, before he changed his mind, so he threw on a shirt and boots, then washed his tear and sick stained face off in the bathroom. Once he had done that, he grabbed the suitcase and left the house, walking at a fast pace.

At the first dumpster he came to, he threw the suitcase away, then ran. He ran and ran, ignoring the sweat dripping down his face and soaking his shirt. He ran until he was in front of a familiar cabin.

Sid knocked on the door. He was breathing hard, and trying not to go into a coughing fit. He couldn't catch his breath; he couldn't take a full breath. Stinky opened the door, wearing a surprised look. Sid straightened up and looked at his friend. He found he could look Stinky in the eye now. The gaze was no longer painful to hold.

Sid took him into a tight hug, then stood up on his tip toes, and kissed Stinky full on the mouth.

"I threw it away. I threw every thing away!" Sid gasped.

"What are you talkin' about, Sid?" Stinky was confused.

"I don't... I'm not gonna be the same guy any more. I want... want to change," Sid said. "I saw the picture... I can't believe that's me. I don't want to be that Sid any more. I don't want to disappoint people any more."

"I... don't know what ta say, Sid," Stinky drawled, still looking surprised and confused.

"Just... say you believe in me. That you believe I really can change," Sid said earnestly.

"You said you wanted to change before, Sid," Stinky started to say.

"But this time, I _want_ to. I really want to. Please say you believe in me," Sid felt tears coming to his eyes again, he didn't want to cry in front of Stinky.

"Okay. I want to believe in ya, Sid, but you've been tellin' tall tales about how you really was going to stop, and you never did," Stinky said.

"I know, I know, please, Stinky! Please do this for me," Sid screwed up his face and blurted out, "because I love you. And knowing that the one guy I care about the most is too disappointed in me to trust me any more..."

Stinky didn't answer. He didn't say anything at all. Sid couldn't help but let the tears flow down his face now.

Finally, Stinky spoke, "You really do love... like that?"

"Yes," Sid sniffled. "I know you don't, but I do."

"I believe ya, Sid. Show me that you're really goin' ta do it this time," Stinky said, then suddenly kissed Sid, sweetly.

Sid kissed him back, still crying. He felt Stinky's rough hand wind its way around his; he drew back.

"I'm going to go talk to my dad. I have a lot of things to tell him," Sid said, feeling almost bittersweet.

"I'll go with ya," Stinky said.

They walked hand in hand back to Sid's house, Sid growing more nervous with each step they took even though his courage was unfailing. His courage was standing right next to him, walking in time.

When Sid reached his house, he went in the backyard. His father was there, on his knees on the ground. Sid walked to him, while Stinky hung back at the gate. Sid knelled down next to his father, who didn't look up. His father had the velvet sack beside him.

"I'm sorry, dad," Sid said softly, "about everything. I really am."

His father didn't look at him, but took a plastic box out of the sack and placed it in front of them.

"I can't... forgive you right away, Sid... but, I still love you. You're my only son... and I just want you to do well and be happy," the words sounded out of place coming from his father, but Sid took them.

His father opened the plastic box, and together they scattered his mother's ashes in the garden, among the flowers.

–

The end.

Thank you to all of you who reviewed this story, hopefully you don't think the ending's a cop out!


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